Dysfunctional

Chapter 41: Misery

Feray pushed towards mission control. Where we can assume Riley is chilling. I haven't seen her in a while actually. I barley remember punching her.

We found her talking to Brooklyn. "Shit shit shit. Turn around turn around." I hissed. Feray turned but it made the loudest skid and everyone turned their heads. "Oh! Speak of the devil." Brooklyn smiled.

"Oops." Feray said.

"Hi guys." I waved.

Riley still had remains of a black eye. Her hair was just above her shoulders and her wavy hair made it look like it was unkept. She kept staring at my foot and the chair. "Are you paralyzed?" Her green eyes looked towards my leg again in worry. She looked as though she was remorseful. Even though I was in the wrong.

"I.... Umm." I really missed her too. I don't know why but she was really pleasant to look at.  Every part of her face seemed to fit perfectly. Maybe it's a Marshal thing.

We awkwardly stared at each other. "Wow Feray look at the time it's bed time." Brooklyn said pushing her away.

"I'm... Wait.... I'm seventeen!" She yelled being dragged around the corner.

"You never really answered me." She gave a nervous laugh.

"Oh I.... was shot in my knee. Feray thought it would be faster to push me in a wheelchair." We both smiled because we knew how Feray was. "I'm sorry.... for everything." I mumbled looking at her eye.

"There's no reason to apologize." She mumbled touching her face. "You were somewhat controlled so I can't blame you."

"Everyone I attacked I had a reason. I want to tell you the reason. As long as you honestly listen to what I have to say."

She pushed me to a secluded part of the ship. "Alright sure."

"I love you... I love you so much. You are my only sister and the best one at that. But you always... You almost always forget about me. Everyone normally does but it hurts when you do it. I may not remember much from that night but I remember you saying that only Brooklyn ever pays attention to me. Even if it was in the heat of the moment, even though I was drunk and emotionally controlled... I remember still was upset that you would say that to me.I just... Felt like you don't care how I feel."

She widened her eyes and looked away. "I didn't think you'd be so foreward."

"Your life is great and yes I'm a little jealous. But not jealous enough to want to be you. Sure I care about what happened in your day but when you only make a conversation about you its a shitty thing to do. Imma be honest. I don't really give a shit that Tony Stark keeps on taking long showers."

"What does any of that have to do with me being stuck up?"

I sighed defeated. "Sorry. Sorry. I didn't mean for it to come out that way." She sighed. "You aren't the first person to tell me. Danny and Luke were pretty blunt with me. We haven't talked in a few months. I miss them so much."

Unfortunately she's going to have to talk about herself. But in this instance. Its a healthy talk.
She braced her back against a wall and sighed smiling a bit. "No matter how hard I try. I can't seem to fill the loneliness I had for the past 4 years. The only person still around is Peter, but he closes off when I get irritating. I know I became a cold dark and uncaring person. When Sam came back... I thought I'd be happy. I wasn't. I was afraid. He knew me before all this bullshit. I doubt he'd like me now. Best part is I've been trying to be like the 17 year old Riley, sweet, adorable, caring . I'm 22 now... I forgot what it's like to give a flying fuck. " She ran her hands through her hair and held her knees.

I took a deep breath and slid out of the chair. I put my arm around her and she laid arcoss my thighs. I stroked her hair to comfort her. I guess she has internal issues too. Not everything is about me. To some people, these problems seems fixable but I guess it isn't. Must be a Marshal thing. God I hope it's not hereditary. "I know what usually helps. Want to rant about it? I found out being honest actually feels so much better."

"I know you are going through shit. And I'm not saying I'm more important. But-"

"Shut up and just rant. Sadly we are on the same path. But just in different streets. I still care about your well being."

"Does ranting help you?" She asked.

"I don't do it often and I haven't started till now. But when something pisses off Brooklyn, she rants about it for like 2 hours tops at random moments and gets it all out. Plus I can't go anywhere."

"What about Feray?"

"I'll just let her take my money and spend it on food. She will be fine."

She took a softer deep breath and began. "I miss Robin so much...."

"Robin?"

"Yes the same Robin that died 4 years back. Robin was really close to me. To be honest I doubted she even liked me in the beginning. When she died the first time I was so heart broken that I couldn't go in and save her. I eventually dealt with it knowing sacrifices are for the good of the people. Then she came back and put a tattoo on my arm. I tried to recreate it actually." She pulled down her shirt to show it along her upper arm. "It was 3 years ago I put this fake tattoo on. After a year of not noticing it's gone I went to go to a tattoo place and have them do it from my memory. It's completely butchered but it still reminds me of how Sage basically saved and ended my life."

Why did I never learn about this?

"Sage prevented me from helping Robin. I could have died like Archer and Christine. Kyle was dead too.... Sage brought him back.... But he doesn't remember who the hell Robin is. But that's not my issue. I watched as Ari cradled him, crying. They both were. I wanted Robin back. I clearly stated I liked her more than Kyle. I wanted Robin more. I was being selfish. Don't I deserve it? Don't I deserve to be a little fucking selfish." She started raising her voice. "Ever since then my life spiraled out of control. I just always made sure to keep my best self... In case Robin ever comes back" She choked a bit.

"Why can't you let her go?"

"Because she's died before and came back. I'm afraid she'll come back and laugh at me for being so sad."

"I bet she's laughing anyway. You must live the life you want to. Not what you want Robin to believe you did."

"Its hard to not live for something."

"Then live for yourself? You are more capable than I am. You must enjoy your own life."

She flipped to look at me. "I think..... I want to quit shield."

"You left shield how many times? You are attached."

"You are right, but I need a break. I'm miserable, I miss having a best friend to mess around with."

"Take Sam on vacation. What about Arizona. The state." I shrugged. I guess I care alittle bit about Riley and Sam. They seemed good together plus I care about my sister's well being.

"You always have the best ideas."

"I am the wiser older brother."

She stared at me. "Why are you so easy to talk to?"

"Because I listen to people and I care. So far it has been my downfall this month."

She let out a small grunt. "Have you heard about Lucy?"

"What's wrong with her?"

"The explosions came back. They are going to bring in that lady from Aim.... Allie?"

Aim? Allie? Why does that sound familiar?