Home // Kylo Ren x Reader (Completed)

Chapter 5

It's been four days since your first training session with Kylo and he still wasn't able to infiltrate your mind. 

 "Close your eyes, Kylo. Concentrate." You said.

Kylo was standing before you with his gloved hand extended out towards your face, his eyes looked at you with determination. After what seemed like forever, you finally feel a slight tug in your head but it disappears as he lets out a frustrated groan and rests his arm down.

"The walls in your mind are too high, I can't."

You start to walk around him as you're talking. "Do not get frustrated, this is a very hard lesson to learn which is why Snoke's impatient self left it up to me to teach it to you. You need to focus on the energy of the force within you and will it, use it to latch yourself onto my mind and then claw your way in. This isn't Jedi training anymore, be ruthless."

You stop behind him and reach a hand out towards him. You narrow your eyes and concentrate on entering his mind. As soon as you latch yourself onto his brain he jerks forward and slowly turns around. He looks at you with eyes full of pain but you couldn't stop, you needed to push him so he could learn.

You see the images of him killing the Jedi students with his blue lightsaber, their cries fill your head. And then another one of him bringing his room down on Luke and leaving him for dead in the rubble but you wanted to go deeper. You wanted to find out why he had turned to the dark side and so you go further into his mind.

You then see him as a little boy overhearing his parents talking about how powerful he was with the force and worrying that he had too much of Darth Vader in him. Another image flashes by of his mother leaving him with a droid nanny so she could go tend to her duties as General. She doesn't return for the night, making Kylo tuck himself into his bed alone.

Kylo's body becomes tense and he starts to take deep, rapid breaths as the pain becomes more unbearable.

You see another memory of his father leaving with a Wookiee and not returning for days but Kylo would still run to the window every time he heard a ship passing by, hoping that it was his father returning. What you saw last was what hurt you most. It was of his mother leaving him with Luke at his temple and Kylo was sobbing into his mother's dress, wrapping his tiny arms around her legs not wanting to let go of her. He was begging her to take him home with her, yelling that he didn't want to be alone.

The playback of his memories gets interrupted as you see Kylo holding out his hand in front of your face as well, with a look of determination. You put your arm down as you feel a harsh tug, making you wince.

Eventually it's grows into a painful pressure in your head and you know he's gotten in. Kylo then sees images of your own memories, of you on the battlefield with Resistance members falling victim to your lightsaber one by one.

You close your eyes, focusing on trying to keep your most painful memories hidden away in the back of your mind. Another image flashes in his head of you torturing a prisoner in a gruesome way for information on where his base was located and then another one appears of you getting force choked by Snoke for letting a whole Resistance fleet get away. He's getting close to your pain that you didn't want him to see.

You open your eyes and grit your teeth together. "That's enough! Get out of my head now, Kylo."

You slightly push him away with the force to break his concentration. He lets go of his hold on your mind making you take a few steps back in the process, letting out a soft gasp of relief.

You were mad that he had gotten so close to your secret memories but Kylo, he was seething with anger over the fact that you had seen his struggles.

You and him are both taking short breaths in and out as you're both equally tired from the pain and strength it took to get into each other's mind.

Kylo has his head down not wanting to make eye contact you, some of his hair was stuck to his sweaty forehead. His shoulder blades are slowly rising up and down as a mix of emotions are starting to take over his body now.

You decide to be the one to break the silence and put one leg out to walk towards him. "Kylo I was only trying to-"

You get cut off as he walks to the silver bench behind him to get his mask and puts it back on. He takes long strides out of the room before you could react or say anything else. You pull your eyebrows together as you look to the door, a pout forming on your lips. Suddenly you get an unfamiliar feeling. Something you haven't felt in years. Guilt.