Reddie Oneshots

-51- Petty, Much?

As Richie and Eddie left the class after school, they could finally raise their voices while they walked to their lockers.

"Okay, but you're fucking wrong, I have way better teeth," Richie grinned.

"Uh, hell no," Eddie replied. "Do you see these pearls?" He made a stupid-looking face, and Richie just laughed and rolled his eyes.

"Pft, right you moron, my parents are dentists," he retorted.

"Pft, right you moron," Eddie mocked. "Have you met my mother?"

"Yeah, I fucked her last night," Richie replied, opening up his locker.

"Beep-fucking-beep, Richie." Eddie sounded disgusted, and he made a gagging noise as he opened his own locker.

"What I'm saying is," Richie continued, shoving his random books in his bag, zipping it up and taking it out of his locker. "My teeth are way whiter."

"No, and fuck you. It looks like you brush your teeth once every month, you're so nasty," he waved his hand in front of his nose, then grabbed his own bag in which he had meticulously placed every paper. He slammed his locker shut and followed Richie toward the door.

"Okay, you know that's a lie. My teeth are gorgeous. You're just jealous," Richie snorted. Eddie simply rolled his eyes.

"Maybe a little exaggeration, but it's true in essence," he replied.

"Well, fuck you!" Richie retorted.

"No, fuck you," Eddie shot back.

"Uhhh, no. Fuck you." Richie folded his arms, putting strong emphasis on the 'you'.

"I'm down," Eddie replied, not missing a beat. Richie choked.

He froze.

"What?"

"I said, I'm down," Eddie repeated, stopping to converse with Richie.

"Down for wh–"

Eddie sighed and shook his head. "I was right, I do have better teeth," he muttered under his breath, just loud enough so Richie could hear, before heading off again towards his house.

"Hey!" Richie caught his composure back, and ran after Eddie. "Wait up, asshole! Were you serious? 'Cause, like, I'd be down too! No homo, though!"

Eddie stopped and turned around to face Richie—who just about ran into him—with an amused look on his face. "Richie, that is the most homo you can get."

Richie stopped. He frowned. He looked down. He repositioned his glasses. He cleared his throat.

"Uh, homo intended then, I guess. I'm down," he grinned at Eddie, who grinned right back at him.

"Me too," Eddie replied.

"My parents are at some boring dentists' convention for the weekend, wanna come over?"

"Well, my Friday nights don't have much in 'em, and since I turned seventeen last month, I'm allowed sleepovers... Why the fuck not?" He grinned.

"Sweet." Richie replied, turning to run to his house, before turning back to say one last thing.

"But my teeth are still whiter."

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Broe IDFK why that took so long but I hope you enjoy
I love writing gag chapters they're so much fun
Guys if you want more chapters you should probably request em cause I work better for other people's deadlines
Thx for the request broe it was fun as Frick *finger guns*