Reddie Oneshots

-74- He Snores Like a Pig

AU where they all stayed in Derry after The Summer

"Okay, but like, here's the thing: the Saw movies are the perfect movies to fall asleep to," Richie announced, returning to the room with a Palm Bay in his hand.

"No fucking way, you're so incorrect," Stan argued, "the Breakfast Club is obviously the way to go. It's quiet, and it's got—"

"Absolutely not," Beverly interrupted, throwing her second can of Smirnoff Ice at Richie's head and hitting him squarely in the nose.

"Oh yeah?" Stan huffed. "Then what do you like?"

"Stephen King."

Richie laughed. "Like Stand By Me?"

"No, like the horror ones. The saw movies are just gross, and the breakfast club is obviously not gonna please Rich, but we all like some less-gory horror, right?"

Stan grumbled. "Fine."

"I actually have The Shining on VCR, I found it at, uh, you know the garage sale they had when Patrick died?"

"Whoa, shit," Ben chimed in. "That's crazy. How much?"

"Like ninety bucks," Richie grinned.

"Sweet deal, damn," Bill huffed.

"Right?" Richie crouched down in front of his bookcase and pulled out a VCR box. "See?"

Eddie rolled his eyes. "Yeah, he's been bragging about that to me since last August."

"Shut up, Eddie, it's cool!" Bev whacked him on the shoulder. "Put it on, Richie."

Richie slid the tape into the slot and grabbed the remote. After a couple clicks, the opening screen came on. Of course, no one was planning on fully watching the movie, but it was good background noise.

Richie sat down on the couch and grabbed a blanket off the side, laying it across himself and Eddie and lying back against the pillows. He hummed in satisfaction and shut his eyes.

"Is he seriously sleeping already?" Stan asked incredulously. Eddie nodded

"Yes sir," Richie murmured from where he sat, his head resting against the back of the couch.

"It's twelve," Ben pointed out, laughing.

"C'mon, whose dick do I have to suck to get some real sleep around here?" Richie huffed, smiling without moving at all.

"Just let him have it," Mike laughed.

"I mean, fine, do what you wish." Stan shrugged.

"Thank you," Richie sighed.

By the end of the movie, Richie was snoring like a monster, earning irritated groans from the others.

"Will he shut up?" Beverly scoffed, glancing back at Richie.

"I seriously doubt it," Mike replied, rolling his eyes. "Good luck sleeping, guys," he murmured, eyeing Richie.

Eddie, sounding oddly jumpy, uttered a laugh. "Yeah, he snores like a pig." There was a muted chorus of "true that"s and of "indeed"s and by then the clock had turned two thirty-two and the Losers were getting a tad bit drowsy. But Richie was still snoring away, and no one could get to sleep. Eddie looked like he was trying his very best not to black out, but the others were simply glaring at Richie with annoyance.

With another couple minutes of complaining, Eddie was out cold, leaning right on the source of the sound: Richie's chest.

Ben stared at him. "I thought he said he couldn't get to sleep because of the noise."

"That doesn't look like someone too bothered by it to me," Mike laughed quietly.

"Mmhm," Stan chimed in.

"A-a-almost looks l-like he's used to it," Bill snickered, then took in a sharp breath. He caught Beverly's eyes and held eye contact, slowly grinning.

"He's used to it," Beverly laughed, clapping a hand over her mouth.

"They're probably, like, secretly dating or something," Stan giggled.

Ben snorted. "Yeah, and that's why Eddie looked half asleep this whole time..."

"Yeah, even when he was complaining about not being able to," Mike murmured, grinning.

"Guys... g-g-guys, c-come on..." Bill interrupted, shaking his head. "They're just homiesexuals."

There was a pause, then a very muted fit of breathy laughter.

Wheezing, Beverly managed to whisper, "you can't be that funny when there are people sleeping!"

Stan put his hand over his heart, looking earnestly at the other losers. "Guys, seriously... They have socks on, it doesn't count."

Wiping tears from his eyes, Ben smacked Stan in the shoulder, doubling over with laughter. 

"Whew, okay," Mike closed his eyes, trying to steady his breathing. The others followed, but it didn't last long before another round of giggles spread among them.

The next morning, a well-rested Richie awoke to the rest of the losers soundly sleeping in a mess on the floor-mattress, and a sleeping Eddie laying on his chest.

He couldn't bring himself to get up.

------

Idk I didn't know how to end it sorry