The Aftermath

34🥀

July 1996:
Justine

Should I, or should I not?
I will I, or will I not?
Must I, or must I not?

Questions circulated in my head as if my life depended on it. I found myself repeatedly turning my head at him the the drinks as I looked one last time I couldn't see him there. I nearly had a heart attack because I could've sworn to myself that I just turned my head to look at him and I never sore him move a muscle.

'Looks like your cup is about to explode' A deep voice was said behind me followed by a laugh as I laughed was startled when some of my drink splashed out from my cup

'Oh dammit! Look what you made me- DeVante!' I turned around shocked as he grinned making me laugh at him

I didn't know if I should act mean towards him or just be polite......hold on, why be mean, last time I met him, I wasn't mean, so why should I put up a front?

'Did I scare you?' He joked

'You obviously didn't see me get startled and waste some of my drink'

'So I'm guessing that's a yes?' He said pretending to be confused

'Yes big ears!' I laughed as he looked down on me in a weird way

'That's a new phrase' he furrowed his eyebrow cracking a smile

'Boy people call you that all the time, it shouldn't be anything new to you' I laughed

'My ears ain't even that big' he whined hiding his ears

'Boy put your hands down' I said as my hands touched his as I removed his hands from his ears

The laugh began to die down only making us stare into each other deeply. His pearly white smile complimented his sparkly eyes. His eyes had a look of innocence in them, a look a little child would give you that would make you give in to whatever they wanted. I tried so hard not to give him for those same hazel eyes I fell for but of course, my body was becoming closer to his leaving no space between us. I looked into his eyes as they glistened even more. I felt myself become emotional inside me because it was like my mind was telling me something but I couldn't make out what it was.

'No DeVante.....we can't do this....' I stepped back as I realised we were about to kiss

'Do what?' He asked out of confusion

'Kiss....I can't have you jump back into my life for you to hurt me again' I raised my voice a bit

'Who said I was gonna jump back into your life?' He defended himself

'You were about to - you know what, forget about it' I said not wanting to resolve the situation as it got awkward

We stood there for silence as we looked at everything else but each other. Damn that shit was awkward. I really wanted to kiss him, like sloppy wet hungry kiss but I knew doing that shit would only fuck with my head again if I fall back for his deep sexy voice, his forever gazing eyes, his perfect smile that can make any girl's panties drop easily, his - see this is the shit this nigga got me doing. I can leave his ass and he still looking as fine as ever.

'Oh, that's where you were' a girl said as she wrapped her hands around DeVante from behind and smiled at me

So you trying to tell me this nigga was trying to get back with me and he had a girl? I knew this was a girl because a hoe would've wore something WAY more revealing. Thank God I didn't kiss him because his ass still not trustworthy.

She is a really beautiful girl, like really. She was a light skin this time. Not a white girl thar he always picks up a fucks them in the bedroom like he always did. She has dark brown eyes with a little bit of Asian resemblance in her. Her hair was brown and curly and it fell to her shoulders. She had a noise ring just like DeVante, tattoos and ear piercings.

'Oh....Justine this is my girlfriend Jhene, Jhene this is Justine....my ex' he trailed of at the end

She knows that idiot! Hmm I'm also seeing he liking the girls beginning with the letter 'J' at the start of their name.

'It's nice to meet you, I love your music so much' she praised me as she continued to smile

'Awh thank you' I smiled back at her

Why can't Kidada be like that man, like Jhene knew I was DeVante's ex and she didn't seem intimidated by me but Kidada gon' have a problem with me just because I used to date Tupac and we still close.....

.......

I feel like a girl at prom with no date and I just sit at the stands looking at everyone enjoy themselves.

I actually didn't have a date for my actually prom because I didn't even attend to come to Prom due to my busy schedule of living to lives. Being a school kid and a superstar wasn't always that easy. Tupac wasn't even gonna go Prom but it looked like his mom forced him too. He ended up being my Prom date. We nearly got our asses kicked out because we were making too much damn noise when the slow jamz came on.

Anyways, coming back to Pac, it made me upset to see him having so much fun with Kidada as they laughed away together like how me and Tupac used to. To be honest I don't even feel close with Pac the way I used to. We don't laugh the way we used to, talk the way we used to, enjoy ourselves the way we used to. If Kidada starts to say some shit to me and I defend myself, it's always my fault and Tupac gets mad with me, not her. We spend days arguing over that shit and I just get sick and tired of it. The only time we ever joke around with each other is.....exactly, I can't even remember.

Also seeing DeVante and his girl kick it was all cute and all but I missed him, missed him too much.

It's crazy how after I break up with Tupac and DeVante, they all seem to move on so quickly. I sometimes feel like I was the problem and now they finally get rid of me, they all happy and shit and forget all about me.

I watched them get all booed up together but seeing Kidada and Tupac made me feel like breaking down and crying. That's my bestfriend, my bestfriend and he treats me like shit because if his shitty ass girlfriend he has with him 24/7. The way he hugged her the way he used to hug me, the way he kissed her the way he used kiss me, the way he spoke to her the way he used to speak to me, the way he comforted her the way he used to comfort me.....and to make matters, she ain't even nice to me and Tupac just seems not to give a fuck.

I felt a tear run down my face and I couldn't let anyone see me like this, definitely not Jennifer. I can't have her stressing about me in her birthday because I can't control my damn feelings.