The Aftermath

73🥀

July 1997:
Justine

I need to go back to L.A.

I thought about that as I was at bad boy. I finally came to see what kind of song Puffy wanted me to be on badly.

Bare in mind I ain't told Pac about this and I don't plan on doing so until everything has died down, completely.

Talking about Pac, I'm having motherfucking mixed emotions now. It's like my hormones have been all over the place since I had Brie.

'So what you think?' Puffy asked me

'I like, I like it' I told him

'Like I'll give these lyrics to you if you wanna practice your song' he said

'My song?' I looked at him weirdly

'Well yeah, this your song' he laughed

'Not going to lie I thought I was going to be singing the hook, I ain't know that this was going to be my song' I told him

Puffy write a song for me, wow this gon' be something!

'Well this is my present from me' he smiled 'say, when you gon' get back out there? I thought you were dead'

'Why does everyone say that?' I asked

'Well you've been out of the spotlight for like nearly a year and people are concerned' he stated the obvious

'True that, I am trying to come back out there but I need to a good comeback song' I said

'Oh word, what song you got in mind?' He asked

'I don't even know, most of my music is back at L.A. and I'm terrified to go back in that chaos again' I admitted

'Well, you gotta go back out there if you wanna start' he said

'Yeah but it's complicated' I said

'Just send Bodyguards with you and-'

'Nah it ain't that, I'm planning to finish my album there since all my songs are there and over stuff back home that I need to patch up'

'Oh, well just take you time, don't rush anything and when you are confident enough, go back out' he told me

See if I go back to L.A., Def Jam are going to expect me to complete and album really quickly. And I'm so dumb as well, I ain't tell them I'll be taking a break so they probably dropped me from their label.

I don't know how long I'll be staying in L.A., I'm going to be leaving Brie behind and I can't let the public know about her as yet or that's really going to stress me out. I just feel like people going to be after her especially when me and Pac are her parents, I just can't.

.........

I came to visit Brie again.

OMG! I just can't be doing this all the time, wanting her to be by my side 24/7.

I'm still not going to forget what happened two days ago, it was kind of awkward though since we didn't once go near each other after that but I hope we can act like that moment never happened.

'Ohhh where's my baby!' I came into the house referring to Brie

'Damn I don't get no hi' Pac Said feeling hurt as I took Brie from

'Yeah we need to talk' I walked in his house

'What we need to talk about?' He said following me

I went to put Brie in her bed as I went in the other room with Pac.

Just in case he got really mad, I didn't snag his loud ass waking Brie up!

'What you wanna tell me?' He asked me

'I wanna go back to L.A.' I blurted out

'Cool, we can-'

'No, just me alone' I said and his face slightly dropped

'What do you mean just you alone?' He asked

'You gotta stay with the baby until I'm finished, I don't want people knowing about Brie as yet, things could get-'

'Why do you wanna go L.A. By yourself?' He asked

'All my songs are back there and I wanna finish my album, also I want to come out with a comeback song' I said

'You know how long you'll be out there for?'

'I know I know but I got people thinking I'm dead' I said

'You think you're the only one' he stood up

It got all silent between us too. Pac didn't seem to bothered to look at me but I understand, he mad but I don't know why.

'You mad at me?' I asked

'No, no I'm not' he said 'do what you wanna do' he plainly said

He don't make me feel like I should go L.A. Now, he don't make me feel as if he's supporting my actions. It's just the way how he said the last sentence, it was so plain, like he just didn't care what the hell I was doing with my life and it hurts.

'Okay, whatever' I walked out of his bedroom

Why did I come here.....