Iridescent

You try to take the best of me, go away

(A/N- Mila does something I wish I could in this chapter. )

The week leading up to the wedding was exhausting. Mila tried hard to hold it together the best she could even though she was rattled by anxiety, fear and anger. There hadn't been a night where she slept peacefully next to him without a nightmare or her getting up in the middle of the night to go and play her keyboard. Mike held true to his promise to be there for her and whenever she woke up, he was there. Unlike Mila who, if she woke up and stayed up till work, couldn't lie back down he could. By the time the rehearsal ceremony and dinner arrived, she was practically dead on her feet from exhaustion.

The night before the wedding all the women were staying at Mari's house so that in the morning they could start getting ready. To say Mike was nervous about that was an understatement. He was at least thankful he was able to give Mari a heads up about how she had been doing when they were at the rehearsal dinner. The woman was worried about her daughter and wished she had fought harder about Alejandro coming.

Mike kept his phone on ring that night just in case she needed him. Mari had told him she would have her sleep in her bedroom, but he wanted to make sure that if she asked for him, that he was there. He knew Mari could handle whatever happened at night, after all, that was her daughter. He just saw it as added security for everyone because he knew how overwhelming it was when she broke down and he had been able to find somethings that worked to settle her.

Mila wasn't sure what time it was when she woke up all she knew was the sun hadn't come up yet. Her body felt hot and sweaty. Tell tale signs she had a nightmare yet she could barely begin to tell you what it was about but could bet he was a part of it. Looking towards her right, she gazed upon her mother who was fast asleep. As gently as she could, she got out of bed and headed downstairs. After getting some juice from the fridge, she wrapped herself in one of the blankets her Mom always kept on the couch and headed out to the back patio.

"What are you doing up?" Mila asked Cata surprised to see her awake and much like her, wrapped in a blanket.

"Couldn't sleep. You?" She asked taking in the look on her sister's face. "Nightmare?" Mila nodded sitting down in the chair next to her. "You want to talk about it?"

"What's there to talk about? He's coming and there's nothing left to say," Mila shrugged placing her drink onto the table.

"What are you afraid of? You're going to be surrounded by family. He's not going to do anything."

Mila chuckled dryly. "It's not the fact that I'm worried about him doing anything, Catarina. I don't know him. I've never met him and any time we all tried to see him he flat out told us 'no'. I've been there and heard him tell Mami that it was because of me, that he would see you and Micah, but not me. We may have all been left with no father, but I've been the one singled out for years by him. Why would I ever want to be in a room with someone who hates me so much for no reason?"

Cata nodded understanding where her little sister was coming from. It wasn't right what he's done for so many years. All the shit he's talked and threats he's made. Beside the fact that he had left them all, Micah and her hated him ten times more for how he treated their little sister. "You know we all love you though, right? Even if he doesn't want you or whatever the fuck is going on in his head, we all love you. You know that we and especially Mike who loves you with his entire being and would never do what Alejandro had done to us, what he's done to Mami." Mila felt tears fill her eyes hearing her sister's words. "Mila, you know that right?"

"I do. At least a part of me does," She replied nodding. "He can see the doubt right now. It's written on his face whenever he tells me he's not like him. It hurts him to see it even if I don't voice it. I just can't help it." Mila shook her head feeling the tears slip down her cheek. "For a long fucking time I wondered what the fuck was wrong with me to cause the person who is my biological father to not love me. If he couldn't love me then maybe no man ever will. Maybe I'm just not made to be loved. Then I met Mike and he told me he loved me. But at one point he left me too and I've forgiven him for that yet right now it's on my mind. What happens if we get married and he decides he doesn't love me anymore? What if we have kids and he leaves?" She looked at her sister who gazed at her with sympathy and her own tears in her eyes. "Everyone talks about how strong I am, but I don't feel strong at all. I'm terrified of tomorrow and I'm so nervous about everything. I hate that he still has this hold over me where he makes me second guess the one man who has ever shown me what love is. A man who any father would be proud of their daughter dating and yet I'm second guessing it. Mike hasn't done anything to me but be supportive and loving. He doesn't deserve this."