Intoxic Dose (Kaisoo)

Chapter 35 : Maybe

I'm running out of chapters 😑
I have ideas to the end of this story but I can't write them down for some reason and I can tell you it's still quite a lot hehe

#writerblock
I hate it ...

,, what do you mean ?" Her voice was a bit more clearer but as for me .. I was panicking quietly bearly being able to suppress it in my voice as I had explained it all to her ofcorse leaving the details out to not make her question it .

I wanted to walk out like I always did and return to him sleeping and acting as if it was nothing but at the sane time I didn't want to leave him alone hurting again .
I just turned away facing the mirror of the living room while he was still in oure room .I didn't want to run away from something I was too afraid to face ...

,, jongin listen to me ... not everyone is like you. Maybe he doesn't even want you to tell him comfortive stuff , maybe he just wants you to be there for him like I tried to be there for you " she explained to me softly . Clearly noticing how unsteady I was like she always did .

,, yeah well your method worked well " I spoke in sarcasm and i heard her sigh after it .

,, jongin i tried almost everything I could think of. I was thinking of just letting you be since you hated me anyway ...
But it made me hate myself aswell it destroyed the both of us.

Sweety, ignoring something that's clearly hurting is never a good solution. And if all the methods realy didn't work then why are you here picking the phone up and asking me for help .

Others might say it's because you meet that cute boy but this was you too ..
I always knew you were a good boy.
but you didnt, because of all this hate ,

You stopped hating yourself jongin you might not see but I do . I'm you're mother I have to notice " why is this making me tear up . How could I have never seen how lucky I was to have her, how much she tried to help and heal .

I knew why she was telling me this . My mum had actually fixed me, helped me back to my feet shielded me from the police and lawyers and even bullies back then. And I could never see it all I did was yell at her and curse .it was the same with Mrs. Xiao but not with kyungsoo .

Because he could what they didn't, they protected me and he reached out to me opened my eyes and pulled me up so easily ,They all saved me ,
he saved me and now I need to save him .

,, thanks mum ." I mutterd sniffing as i blinked the few tears away , God what was wrong with this day nothing seems to go right today .

I was hesitating to say the words she always said so casually as if they meant nothing when I know that they meant so much.

,, bye " in the end i couldn't, even tho she said it once again.

I turned back around taking a deep breath as I put the phone back into my pocket. He was still sitting there just sniffling now that he doesn't have any tears left and just stared down at the empty box which he had now placed into his lap .

Carefully I stepped foreward getting down besides him , he turned to me with his hurting eyes trying to hold the sounds of his sniffles back .
But ofcorse he had cried too much for them to just disappear .. it would always be like that when he cried these sniffles belonged to it and it's weird that I even found them cute yet heart breaking at the same time .