,, w-what ?" He sat back with a saddened expression as he looked at me confused yet scared and I sat up to face him too now .
,, do you think I'm stupid ?" I spat frowning angrily. This was his fault I never worried about the topic sex I've always had sex, I enjoyed it !
,, n-no! " he stutterd back seeming quite nervous yet scared as if he was afraid to be saying the wrong words .
ever since I met him the real him it was never the same anymore the closer he got to me the more i lost interest in it. I can't even imagen myself doing it with a girl now anymore. I can't imagen myself doing it with anyone anymore
That boy was just an attempt to force it like it was the first time when I fucked him . And I knew I only had because I imagined he was kyungsoo because their bodies were similar.
Kyungsoo had changed me in too many ways and I hated it all of a sudden, it made me realize what I have become now .
It made me angry
,, don't touch me !" I hissed when he moved closer again and I watched a tear drop from his grey eye, Swallowing the ache in my heart at the sight .
,, w-why !?" His eyes opened wider as moved closer anyway
,, you will do it with someone you have to pay but not with me !? "
I didn't answer to that swallowing once again as I glared to the side to not face his expression that had caused the ache in my heart to grow the more i saw it.
,, is it.. b-because of my body ? I ..
I can leave my pullover on, y-you don't have to see it it's ok I wouldn't want to see it too-"
,, SHUT THE FUCK UP !" He flinched when I cut him off and got to my feet I avoided every eye contact and instead stared foreward at my car in anger about to take my first stomps toward it but he just had to stand up aswell holding me by my shirt.
Why was he like this
why can't he understand me ?? Why was he thinking so stupidly so wrong of himself why .. why .
,, wait !" He cried out but I pushed him roughly back and he stumbled to the ground but didn't give up as he crawled after me trolling and stumbling his way back to his feet only to reach out for me again
,, please ! Just tell me ! What do you want !? Why did you save me if you didn't want me !??" He yelled at me quite furious and it did the opposite of soothening my burning anger .
,, because you're PATHETIC !" I pushed him once more before turning around to him glancing at him sitting on the ground quite dirty from all the falling he had done now
,, I'm not interested in having your blood on my hands it has nothing to do with wanting your fucking lying ass! Don't you dare make me feel anything about what I had done on that night !
you were doing the same just like youre slut of a mother ! That's why you're always out isn't it !? Your just fucking other guys or let them fuck you isn't THAT IT !??
That's what's truly disgusting about you..
you Ruined my life you know that ?" I whisperd the last part with venom as I stared deep into his eyes which were widely staring at me before he adverted them eventually to the ground probably not being able to take it more .
,, I'm sorry " he whisperd with his head lowerd and it just made everything even worse. I can't believe I had even felt the urge to hit him .
He didn't get it .. he doesn't get it . I'm blaming him ! So He should be blaming me too !
YOU ARE READING
Intoxic Dose (Kaisoo)
Fanfiction*?completed?* (( There's a sequel following but it doesnt end in tension )) Merely a punk . That's all I was, an idiot telling myself, convincing myself that the world is only a dark broken place. The only friends I had were my cigarettes, the dr...
