Lust and Love

💑25 - More than just a friend

Jennifer Lopez's POV

Nobody told me that today is the end of the world. I mean, it's MY end. I am so doomed. I didn't realize I slept too much, the kids didn't bother waking me up. I remember all the things that happened last night. The last face I saw was.. Ryan. And the last thing I remember before drowning to sleep was him keeping on reminding me to take aspirin. I had a really good sleep though and thankfully I don't feel any hangover, thanks to Ryan. I haven't been getting enough sleep this past few days.

And today.. Alex will be back anytime of the day. I miss him so much. I feel like we need so much talking. We haven't been so intimate with each other lately. And the last time we were seen together publicly was that at the Met Gala. But before that, I still have to face the fact that my life's really going to an end sooner.

I'm in desperate need of someone to tell my problems to. But no matter how much I want that, no one will ever understand me and help me. Not my mom. Not Benny. Even Leah. Of course definitely not Leah! My man is coming home and I don't think I can live bringing these problems with me any longer.

I get my phone and start typing a message. Just as I press send, I realize I should just make a call instead. So I dial the number and after few rings, Ryan finally answers.

"What's the matter Miss Lopez?" Ryan answers from the other line. I might shocked him cause I barely call him so randomly like this one.

"Ryan.." I say nervously.

"Are you okay? Is your head hurting? Did you take aspirin? Should I come over for you? Alex hasn't come home yet, right?"

He has so many questions and I so fucking hate him for being so concerned about me. This is always Ryan. Always caring and always thinking what's good for me. I hate him. Why is he always acting like that to me? He's a retard. I hate him for being too concerned about me.

"Ryan.." I say again, leaving all his questions unanswered. "We have to talk. Can we meet up?" My voice is kind of shaking I hope he doesn't notice.

"Like, now?" He asks and his tone suddenly changes. From a soft caring one to a plain ignorant one. I hear him sigh before continuing, "I'm still having fun with my girlfriend."

"What? You're fooling around with your girlfriend? So what about me, we only meet when we're both horny? You get so busy with your so-called girlfriend, huh. When in fact, we both know what we have.."

"Jen w-wait.. what are you talking about? What's wrong with you?"

"You can't just tell me you're having fun with another girl!" I've totally lost control with my emotions.

"Why can't I have fun?! YOU have ARod and I'm fine with that. So I might as well get myself a "real" girlfriend and you not caring, too."

What the hell did I just hear?! Does he not care about me anymore? What happened to the Ryan I just admired a while ago?

His tone changes again, into a more serious one.

"Look Jen, our relationship is just a 'part-time' or should we say, only a sideline. We have separate lives and we have separate priorities. And that's all."

I don't know why but my goddamn tears start to roll down over my cheeks. He can't just do this to me! He is the main reason of my problems now. He is the reason why I am blackmailed by my psychotic ex.

"What about me, Ryan? Is your annoying girlfriend more important than what I need to tell you now?" I uncontrollably raise my voice over my phone.

"Like I tell you, we have separate lives, Jen. Let me live mine and I let you live yours!"

"Beau Casper Smart is making a problem." I cry so hard. I feel like a total weak and a stupid person.

"Stop bringing up dead people."

"I wish he is. But Beau is-"

"Stop blaming your ex Jen!"

"HE HAS A BLACKMAIL  AND IT THREATENS US BOTH!" I yell over the phone and it only makes me cry even more. It hurts so much. I feel like I'm responsible for all of this. I feel like I dragged Ryan all along with me.

I continue to sob and there's only a mere silence on the other line but I'm sure he is still there.

Ryan Guzman's POV

I was shocked after hearing Jennifer's last line. It must be a really big problem cause I hear her crying and she's yelling at me like she badly want me to understand and believe her. And she barely does that, yelling at people. It took me few more moments to formulate a reply.

"Ryan.." She says and her voice was low and cracking. She's still sobbing on the other line.

"Jen.. I'm sorry," I finally say, still not sure what to tell next. "We'll figure this out. I'll help you. Let's talk about it, okay?"

"Ryan please help me." She cries.

I don't know why but it hurts me hearing Jennifer cry. I immediately want to hug and comfort her. She's feeling so vulnerable and all I want now is to protect her and to assure her I'm always ready to be there for her. I feel the fear in her voice. We really have to figure out this blackmail very soon.

"I'm always here for you, Jen. You know how much I love.." I trail off and struggle to find appropriate words.
"..l-love TO HELP you on your down times."

"Thank you, Ryan. Thank you for always being there for me." I feel her mood brighten a bit. "I can always lean on you."

I want to assure her that I would never let her down. Because that's what friends are for, right?

"You can always count on me, Jen."

But you are more than just a friend to me, Jennifer. More than what you think we have.

*****

A/N: Thank you 1k reads. I always say this, it's not that big but for me that's a great achievement cause I know I'm not one of the best authors out there. I'm just an obsessed fangirl who loves writing. To my awesome 70 followers I love you all💖. Although I know only a few of you checks my book. But it's okay. I still appreciate your follow cause I didn't ask for it. 👏

I will do my best to really finish this book.

God bless everyone. Don't expose yourselves too much under the sun this summer😎☀