Lust and Love

👏30 - Beau's Revenge

Ryan Guzman's POV

It's been a week without seeing her and communicating with her. Damn, I'm a huge douchebag. I've been doing other stuffs lately and tried my best to divert my attention just to get her off of my mind.

No matter how hard I try, it's always Jennifer I'm thinking about. Especially when the very last moment we had was us getting very emotional. I am so worried about her.

But when I've seen her posts on IG and tweets on Twitter, she seemed really fine. She's been very busy with her career as usual. Her feed is full of tweets about Shades of Blue. She 's been really doing a lot. Maybe it's her way to finding herself again. It's good that she's been doing well and fastly coping up with everything even if she still hadn't ended her issue with Beau. But me, how will these feelings go away? This is so inappropriate.

I really hate myself for stupidly falling for her again. How many times should I scold myself to not to go after someone like her? Everytime I want to do something, she's in my mind. When I eat and sleep, I think about her. Even when I try to hang out with my girlfriend, all I can think of is Jennifer and no one else. All I see when I close my eyes, is her. Man, is this an obsession I can't control? I believe all of this started from pure lust. And I feel so ashamed of myself for being a lovesick bastard right now.

I'm so confused of what to do. I have my girlfriend, but my craving is JLo..

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Jennifer Lopez's POV

"So Alex already know? And your fuckmate Ryan? You told them so they will help you out? What a slut you are. So you've already settled things with them though everyone around your circle knew you were fucking a guy who's almost half your age. Lucky you," Beau says with so much mockery and sarcasm. "But still not." He smiles devilishly, I wish I could smash his horns.

"What else do you want?! Money? Property? I won't cut the deal with you anyway!" I yell directly at his face to purposely piss him off. "Now what?! I'll still be fucking you anytime you want! Happy now?!"

"Oh do you really think I'm only after your vagina?" He laughs at me like I just said the biggest joke he has ever heard. I feel stupid.

"Now that your love ones already know, I'll take care of the rest. I'll be the one to let the WORLD know and let's see where you'll land after EVERYONE knows "the biggest secret of Jennifer Lopez" . That's gonna blow the entire Showbiz Industry!"

He then makes some gestures then looks at me delightedly like he just made some very useful proposal for the humankind. This person needs to be sent to the mental hospital.

"Seriously Beau?" I sigh and roll my eyes so hard on him. "What do YOU want? Like, what EXACTLY do you want.. Why would you want to desperately ruin my career?! What for?"

"I aim to ruin your life." He simply says and I guess I will never understand his point.

"Whyyy???"

"Because YOU ruined mine!" He raises his voice. "You took everything from me, Jen! When we were over, you left me with nothing. I admit, you have done a lot for me. But once we ended, everything I had, had vanished. Even including the ones I've worked for myself!"

"I-I don't quiet get it. What did I take from you? Please expound more.."

He sighs, like trying to recall a bad memory that he's been trying to forget but just can't. Beau finally answers after shutting his eyes and face-palmed. "Goddamn, Jen. As if you know nothing?"