Lust and Love

😳22 - "I'll surely kill that slut!"

I felt so drained. It's Day 2 without papi Alex but feels like months already. I feel like everything is going so slow and I've done nothing on my mission. Nothing went on with my plans. And when I say plans it included: clearing things out with Ryan, getting rid of that stupid video, spend more intimate moments with Alex when he comes back, burn Beau Casper Smart to the bones and leave no evidence that I did it. Though the last one is clearly impossible cause even after how much I hate him right now, I still can't do such hideous thing.

I need a break, I think. I check on my schedule and just realize I have to go shoot my music video of Dinero with Cardi and DJ Khaled, and I have to do a promotion of my JLoxInglot Cosmetics to whatsoever magazine. I call on Benny and ask for "day-offs". Thankfully he considers me postponing all my appointments and to-do's for three days. He asks me if there's a problem and I just said I'm going to focus on the kids including (Tashi and Ella) since Alex is away and I'm glad he buys that.

Deciding to go to a nearby café after the kids left to school, I put on some gray sweatpants and a really baggy top. Anyone who'll see me will think I'm pregnant and I'm hiding the baby bump due to the bagginess of my clothes. But whatever. I'm not in the mood to dress up. And because I don't have the energy to do it. I tie my hair in a stupid bun with strands of hair sticking out everywhere and yet I don't care much. Slip in some black flip-flops and I'm done.

"Eww Jennifer. You're so ugly today." I tell myself looking at my own reflection in the mirror. "Like sooo ugly."

Dark circles underneath my eyes, no make up, hair undone, baggy clothes, gloomy face, no one will recognize me. But that's good. At least no one will even notice me when I go out. Got my handbag when I know I have everything I need, I go downstairs and to the door, of course.

But that's when I notice I have some of my bodyguards with me today. And my driver. Which is a surprise to me cause I didn't call for them.

"Hi Miss Lopez. Benny was told by Alex to send bodyguards to guard you today. That's why he sent us here, in case you're wondering," says Paul, one of the bodyguards that Benny usually calls. He's the one who's always with us wherever we go when necessary. He probably got my questioning look.

"And by the looks of your face, you really do." - says the second one, Anton.

"O-okay. That's so sweet of him..?" But Alex didn't mention about it when we had a phone call last night?

Maybe he just want to make sure of my safety. Or maybe so that he can monitor me of what I do and where I go when he's not around. Last time when he had appoinments in Sacramento, I admit I was a sneaky bitch but I was so sure I was careful.

"Uhm I'm just going to a cafe for some refreshments just nearby. I can go there myself."

"No Miss Lopez. We're going with you." Answers Steve, my driver.

"Hello?? I'm just going to a cafe just around here in the corner to chill can I just.. oh please."

"We're sorry Miss Lopez, but that's just the order." - Paul

Rolling my eyes knowing I can't win in this argument, and because I'm too tired to argue I groan, "Fiine. Let's go, I can't wait for my drink."

Getting to the car and waiting for anyone of them to open the door for me, Paul finally does. Actually I don't necessarily need anyone to open a car door everytime but today is diva bitch day.

Before hopping inside I strut at the awaiting guards and say, "Don't come with me inside the cafe. Make your butts wait outside."

Diva Bitch Day it is.

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