Lust and Love

🙇37 - Apologies

Getting home later that day, I feel like I'm in a different atmosphere as I finally got home. And.. OH. MY. GOD. What did I just do? Yesterday and just this morning I was fooling around with Ryan for the very last time and now..

It's 9:30 am. Alright. Whatever. It's already been done. What should I worry about now is Alex, who's coming right on my way as I enter into the house. I should just ready myself.

"Jen!"

"Hi baby.." I say as we exchange kisses on each other's cheek.

He holds both of my arms as he looks on the ground and sighs, sign that he's been upset.

"Where are they?" I say, referring to the coconuts and his daughters.

"They went shopping."

"With?-"

"-Alison. And two bodyguards."

I sigh in relief. Knowing that they are with Alison (his daughters' babysitter/assistant for two years already) and with backing guards with them, I can assure they're going to be fine.

"Have you showered already?" He asks and I almost choke on my supposedly reply. But then I realize I'm still on the same clothes like yesterday. But I already took a shower though..

"I'm.. I'm fine.." What a lame answer of mine.

He sighs again and I don't know if I can make any more excuses if he asks me what I did yesterday and what happened. But for sure, I can't escape from that scenario.

"Look, Jen. I have sooo many questions in my head. I'll go crazy thinking about it. To make it short, everyone's looking for you, you didn't say anything at all and you just showed up at this very hour. I did my best as I could just to cover you up. I almost run out of reasons just so the kids would stop asking and worrying about you. I-I'm not sure where to start, Jen.. Where were you?"

Alex looks so worried yet so upset but he's trying so hard to calm down.

"Everything is now fine. Everything is already under control." The safest answer that I could think of.

"I don't understand, Jen. I'm aware of everything you're doing. I know you basically cheated on me. I know you did a lot of mistakes. But why am I still staying? What for? I want you to know, I get tired too."

Hearing his words makes my jaw drop. I thought he said he understood me? That he's willing to wait until we get back? I thought he said he wants this relationship to work? Why does he seem to be giving up already? I have so much to say but I'm too stunned at the moment to say anything at all.

I only manage to say as I try to hold back my tears, "Wait.. Are you saying that you're getting tired of our relationship?"

"No.. I mean.. I don't know what are we here for.. Are we just still staying together for the sake of the kids? Because we all live in the same house that we bought together? Because we don't want to let everybody else down?"

"Alex.."

"I know we would never finish if I'll ask you about what happened.. Yesterday you went to that guy to say goodbye to him so you can get rid of him in your life and we could start again but you just got home now and.. I just don't know if I'm just being paranoid or maybe my instincts are right. One question.." He sighs again before continuing, "Did you sleep with him?"

So many times. I just look on the ground and stay quiet.

"I just.. I just need you to be honest, love." He cups my face and I see his eyes filled with visible tears. "Did you had sex with Guzman last night?"

Men like Alex don't cry easily. But as I see right now, I can't take my guilt anymore. I feel so sorry about Alex. But I don't regret my night with Ryan at the same time..

Still waiting for my answer, I make eye-contact with him and say, "Yes."

I just can't tell another lie to him. He lets go of me and avoids eye-contact with me.

"But it's gonna be the last.." I don't know if he'll still accept that excuse.

I cup his face and look up to him. "Baby, I swear that would never happen again. I'm so sorry. Now, if you're thinking that we are really over, please don't. Let's talk this over."

"Jen.."

"We're almost there, Alex. You've been with me through my dark moments not so long ago. I'm on my way of ending this issue. I just need more of your patience and understanding. Now that it's all the way over, this is the time. We can start again."

Suddenly the doorbell rings, we have to stop our emotional moment for a while due to this sudden interruption of whoever it is at the door.

"I guess it's the kids. They're back too soon." Alex says, trying to wipe his damp eyes.

Me too, I act as if nothing happened as I get to the door. But then it's a security. Usually, if the visitor is someone regular at the house or someone we're expecting, they would just come right away in the house. But if not, a guard needs to go here first and ask me/Alex/or anyone at the house for confirmation. Seems like we have a new visitor today. Probably a fan with great stalking skills, that wants a visit.

"Yes, who is it?"

"Some guy wants to see you, Miss Lopez. He says he's an old friend of yours."

"Really? Go get him here."

And unexpectedly as it is, the last person that could be visiting in our house today is.. Beau. And he isn't even with Leah. Which is really super weird. I smell something funny..

As professional as I am, it is not my thing to just shout and get rid of that person if it is someone I despise the most. After all, a visitor is a visitor. "What brings you here?"

Alex, who's at my side, asks the same.

"I'm not looking for more trouble. I'm here to ask apology from you personally, and from you, ARod."

"Ha! After all the trouble you've caused. And you have the face to show up and just randomly ask for apology? Nice act you got there, Beau. I'm so sick of you pretending to be sorry but really, I already know all of your antics." I say stubbornly.

"Look, ARod. Since she's too deaf to listen to me, I'm just gonna say sorry for everything, dude."

"Well, you're just in a really wrong timing, man. We have more important things to discuss. You're just wasting your time and OUR time."

"Well, maybe if you're so sincere perhaps we could entertain you this time and maybe even accept your apology. But people like you, don't deserve forgiveness. Just go home, Beau." I say still trying to stay calm. But deep inside I really want to rip his face off. After everything he'd done. I almost lost everything.

"Is it too late now to say sorry? I'm not leaving if you won't respond from my apology. I'm here standing, putting all of my pride away, saying sorry for the trouble I've done. I know we're all tired so let's have peace."

"Leave now, Beau Casper Smart. You think it's just as easy as that? If you really want peace, it's best if you'll just leave right now and don't show your face, for the good of everyone. What if that stupid video hadn't been deleted yet? You would have been still blackmailing me!" I stated.
"

"Whatever you say. But I'm really sorry. I've done my part but you don't wanna listen, now you can't blame me." Stepping backwards, he seems to be ready to leave. But if he is not, I'm ready to call the security to drag him out of our residence.

He seems to get my instinct, he says, "Don't even call your security guards cause I've got my own feet, I can leave with myself."

He then leaves and Alex and I just wait for him to be totally out of sight. What has got to that guy's head? I look at Alex and but he is not looking back. He's just looking at a distance, probably thinking a lot.