Lust and Love

😗45 - "Where did you learn that?"

Looking back of what I've been through few months ago, that black mail could have ended my career. But now I'm here and I just got the prestigious Vanguard award. I'm so astound that I've reached this very moment.

I literally had the best night at the MTV VMA 2018. I did a 10-minute long performance, singing and dancing along with my greatest hits like On the Floor, Dance Again, Jenny from the Block, Love don't cost a thing and many more. During I'm Real part, people were surprised and so much thrilled by Ja Rule's appearance. They always loved my collaboration with him. I also performed with DJ Khaled. I'm so glad that people were so impressed and appreciated my whole performance. After my performance, I accepted the golden Moonman statue from the singer Shawn Mendes.

I got a lot of DMs congratulating me and praising me. That I deserve the Vanguard Award so well. But among the best moments in that night, my most favorite part in that event was that, my mom, my kids and Alex were there in the front row to watch me onstage. I felt like I owned the night and the whole event itself. And just last week Niyama Sol decided to make leggings inspired by me and my music throughout the years. The leggings are now available online for $80 each. I'm very blessed to have so much going on. I may be not as big as Britney Spears or Justin Bieber, but I was just always there, working hard as ever. And if not consistent, I'm working even harder to get where I am now. I sing, I dance, I act, and do the things that makes others say you can't do it, you can't do that, you can only do one thing at once. But I'm the person who would always say "why not?" And I just follow my gut and see what I can do about it.

I grabbed the opportunity that night at the MTV VMA to thank every person that helped me reach and become what and who I am today. My management, my closest friends, my manager Benny, my SONY family, Tommy Motolla, and so many names. My mom, who gave me all my talents and traits (I got it from my mama), my kids who are always the reason I'm always striving hard, and of course, Alex who was always there for me for a year and a half already.

And of course, the last but definitely not the least, I would never forget to thank all of my fans. My JLover family for literally everything. I wouldn't be there onstage and I would never get to where I am today without them. They've been with me throughout my journey and they've been a part of me, of my life. And I would never forget how I mean to them, too. I always owe something from my beloved fans.

August 22, 2018 - Wednesday

I could still see posts and DMs sent to me on my social media congratulating me for both my performance at the MTV VMA and the award that I got. Marie Claire had said that I performed in the "most glittery, most gorgeous, and most naked outfits" among all in that night. (Those are the exact words.) I can't help but just laugh about it. Whatever they say, I'm just glad they loved the show.

No gym session today so I'm pretty much staying at home. My next gym schedule will be tomorrow and I'll be there for hours with Alex as usual. After our work out tomorrow, I still have to do a photoshoot for Harper's Bazaar. The shoot will be filled with gym shots, me wearing body-figure-hugging outfits and working out to get fit and to get the perfect body.

The MTV VMAs was held in New York. Me and my family just got home yesterday and having no schedule today is such a big help not just for me, but for all of us to take a rest. Max and Emme were tired after the event and the whole ride thing. Benny was also concerned about me getting over fatigued again for doing so much. The whole week last week, we were constantly rehearsing just before MTV. I still go to the gym 3 times that week, then fly to New York for the final rehearsal, then now back to LA.  Cause if God Himself needed to rest on the seventh day, how much more me myself that I'm just a normal human being that worked 24/7, seven days a week without stopping. So that's why Benny and everyone else are giving me my rest day.