Lust and Love

👊20 : Mission

There was never an us.

Ryan's very last words that he said to me keeps repeating in my head. It's been few days already since that incident in his apartment. What a dick he is. How could he say that right to my face?!

Well yeah, what are you thinking Jennifer. Of course you guys are just plain sex buddies. Nothing more, nothing less! What's wrong with me? Am I going crazy? I guess this is just an effect of being stressed.

I want to clear my mind so today Alex and I did excessive work-outs at the gym for a couple of hours after sending the kids to school. At least my attention will be diverted to something else. This was one of the stuffs that Alex and I enjoy doing together and it brings us so much closer. People even say that we are 'obsessed' with fitness.

After burning lots of calories, Alex and I go to our car to head straight home. I fasten my seatbelt then he starts to drive as soon as he starts the engine.

"That was so much fun! I like the new instructor in that gym," I say.

"Me too, love." Macho agrees. "He makes working out so much easier. Or at least it seemed to be."

"Let's go back there uhm.. Shall we say tomorrow? Or the day after tomorrow.."

"Any time, any day, I'm on it."

I nod. Then the following moment, I'm just staring at him. His eyes still on the road but I guess he knows I was constantly looking at him. He then holds my hand while his other one is on the wheel. I reach out to kiss him on the cheek and I hold his hand tightly. Then we smile at each other for a couple of seconds only cause he's driving.

"I miss you being like that. I didn't see you smiling so much lately." He compliments and I just blush.

And we are just usually like that. There's always a calm and peaceful atmosphere when I'm with him. When I'm with Alex, I always feel loved and respected. Ahh, so relaxing.

"Love?"

"Hmm?" I glance at him.

"I have a new appointment in Miami first week of May. I'll be away for 3 days."

I'm just quiet. I don't know what to say. Or what should be my initial reaction.

"You better stay at home and be with the kids." He says making me feel kind of relieved. "It's only gonna be 3 days anyway. That will be fast."

"I'll still miss you."

"I'll miss you too. Stay and relax at home. You seemed so stressed lately."

Oh am I that obvious?

"Nah, just the work and stuffs.."

"Yeah I know. I know how difficult it is to be a JLo. That's why I'm so proud of you, love.. You're strong, hardworking, confident, beautiful and loving."

"Awwwe do you really think I'm like that?"

"Always. You're always like that in my eyes."

I can't help but feel so overwhelmed after that. I give him another kiss then I lie my head on his shoulder. We were hand in hand during the whole ride. But during our quiet moment, all I was thinking were my problems. I gotta work on on them. I should think quickly. Alex will be away for three days, I guess that is enough for me to move and get out from the maze.

Right, that's what I'm going to do. Operation: Solve the problem and put things back to normal in 3 days. And so that when Alex comes back, everything is already okay. He won't even notice a single mark.

I've already done a lot of amazing things before that I never expected that I could achieve. I'm sure I can get through with this one.

Go Jennifer. You can do it. 💪