Lust and Love

💖32 - "I chose you."

We started another heavy make out session. Ryan and I get really intense, we reach the ass-grabbing part. My mind protests from what we are doing but my heart wants all of these.

When I'm with him, I just want to forget about everything and be just carried away with the heat of the moment. I don't know if this lust or if it is love. And I don't know what is it for him, too. If this is just pure lust, this can't continue. But if it is love.. I don't want to do either. I love Alex, so much. But he is just too good for me. While Ryan.. I can't call him mine cause he is just not mine. But he gives me so much excitement and so much pleasure when it comes to this.

We continue to kiss torridly until he pins me to the nearest wall. He presses his sculptured body against mine, I can feel my boobs pressed on him and his crotch aligns with my hips. Thank god I'm wearing high heels, he's just now a little bit taller than me.

He then gets my hands, which are playing on his hair, and pins them above my head. I smile between kisses.. he's having a new style. Ryan being possessive, gives me so much excitement.

Ryan kisses my neck and traces my collarbone with his tongue. I tilt my head on the side to give him better access.

Then he starts to gently suck the skin on my neck, mild enough not to leave visible hickies. He groans sexily while pleasuring me. I just close my eyes and get lost on our heated moment.

Still unable to hold him because he's still pinning my hands, he drowns me again with his insanely good kiss. Then he starts to mumble..

"I want you.." He places passionate kisses on my jawline. "I want you.." He places kisses on my I guess entire neck then back to my lips. "I want you.." Then he stares deep into my eyes, "And you only.."

Unable to not to cooperate with his sexy moves, I moan a respond, "R-Ryan I.."

"But I can't have you." He then lets go of my hands and stops kissing me everywhere.

"Ryan baby, I know we shouldn't be doing this.. But I really miss you." I say, cupping his face. Me still leaning my back to the wall, he puts his hands on my waist.

"If only you know how much I want to strip that tight dress of yours and let them fall on the floor.. If only you know how much I want to place kisses all over you and touch your body.. If you only know how much I want to hear you moan my name everytime I enter and feel you inside.. If only you know how much I want to make love to you the whole night."

"Then hacerlo, papi. Do it." I urge him.

He then gets his hands off from me and turns away, "But that's not my intention on you today." Stepping a little distance away from me, he turns back and says, "I brought you here with me 'cause I want to tell you something more important."

I gulp and start slowly walking around the room too, but not too far from Ryan. "What is it?"

He stops walking and faces me, "Brianna already knew about what's happening."

My eyes grow big and my throat dries up again. She can't just know about it! I remember how much she detests it if she finds out Ryan is sleeping around with someone else. Now she can even spread that news that Ryan and I are having a secret affair. There's already two of them, Beau and Brianna, portals to the end of my career.

I want to say and ask a lot of things but I just can't come up with a good start. I just feel my tears filling up my eyelids and this is the only thing that comes out from my mouth, "W-what did she say? Did she want to kill me? Will she blackmail us too just like Beau did?"

Why am I such being a cry baby lately?

Without looking at me he says, "No. Brianna is not like that. She would never do that. She's a huge fan of yours, remember?"

"Then what happened??"

"I broke up with her for good." He looks at the floor and his brows furrow like he's about to cry and continues, "I can't just play around and break two hearts at once. Breaking your's and Brianna's." He looks at me, his eyes red.

I feel so devastated for him. Things got complicated for him because of me. As sincere as I am right now I say, "I'm sorry Ryan. I'm very sorry for everything. I've ruined both of our lives. Sorry if I even destroyed your other relationships. I was the reason you broke up with your girlfriend. I'm sure her heart was breaking so much and I know how it exactly feels.."

"No, no, no, Jen. It's not your fault. You've done nothing wrong with my relationship with Brianna." He says, trying hard to smile even if his eyes are filled with tears.

I'm about to cry too but I don't want to. I just don't want to make it happen again when we both cried so hard it was so hard to stop.

"I'm really sorry, baby.." I keep on saying sorry and try my best not to cry in front of him again. I'm confused of what to do with my hands 'cause I want to hold him but I think it's not a really good idea. I want to hug him but I think it would just make us both cry. "I'm very sorry."

"No. I broke up with her for good. It's not because I love her and I want to set her free." He says plainly then he looks at me,

"But because.. I chose you."

*****

A/N:
I literally love all of you who reads this far and especially to the lovely Ryannifer Shippers Community, even if there's no more Ryannifer in real life, at least we still believe in them in fanfictions haha😂

I wonder what if Ryan and Jennifer dated for real? Or what if they're still contacting each other secretly just like what's happening in this story? OMYGOD that would be absolutely lit 🔥