You Come First

28

Some time passed and Liam let go off me. He rested his back on the bottom part of the sofa and spread out his legs.

" So ... where do we go from here?" I asked him nervously.

" I'm not gonna lie, I've come back to try and win you back but my heads all over the shop now."

I sat next to him and we stared ahead of us, at the old wooden ticking clock. To me time didn't have a meaning anymore.

" I should have told you. But I never wanted to go back there"

" Then why didn't you at least just let me know?"

A big part of me didn't under stand why Liam was so mad, he never wanted a child. But on the other hand I knew that I took our child's life away without his consent . He had every right to be pissed.

" Because Liam " I sighed " You said not so long ago that you really wouldn't want a kid."

" Yeah but fuck me Sally, it's different when it actualy happens ."

" Well how was I supposed to know that Liam? You're a fucking kid yourself. You're childish, you can't look after yourself nevermind a kid"

His eyes landed on me. I turned my face to the right so I could look at him too.

" Thanks "

" I'm sorry but it's true Li "

He half smiled. God have I missed that cheeky fucking smile of his. Cunt.

" What?"

" You called me Li. Are you not mad anymore ?"

" I'm furious still " I looked down.

" Oh ". His enthusiasm sort of went away after that.

I looked back at him.

" But I would be lying if I said I didn't miss home and Noel. And you especially . I don't think I've ever been as depressed in my life."

" I've missed you like crazy . I spent every fucking day in bed, didn't even go out or take drugs. None a' that"

Hearing him say that made me feel guilty but I quickly pushed those feelings aside because I knew he deserved it for what he did.

" I love you and I want to be with you. I just don't know how we can after all of this . I mean..."  I started tearing up" I killed our child Liam. You cheated on me. How do i... how do we even just over come that? "

" We can overcome this " he wrapped his arm around me , kissing my head.

I put my head on his chest and curled up in to him. " I dont know how but I hope we can. I just really need you"

" I need you too. We need to get you home. I know you've been okay here but deffo not mentally. These people mashed your brain " he whispered the last part  - not wanting them to hear.

We stood up and embraced each other in a hug. He didn't squeeze me too tight because he didn't want to hurt me but I took enough of his scent in to melt. I missed this.  I've missed him and I needed him back.

" We belong together.  You will always come first " he kissed my forehead.

We stared into each others eyes. I couldn't tell what he was thinking but all I felt was love. It was bittersweet but I knew I needed those blue eyes in my life until the day I die.

" I love You "

" Liam I love you too"

He smiled and stroked my cheek, putting a strand of my hair behind my ear. " Lets keep it that way cos I've got mad love for ya "

This was the first time in a long time - that I felt appreciated again.

" come on I need to pack".

Once I was done packing and saying my thank you's to Jodie and my uncle , I got myself comfortable In the car.

" Are you good Sally?" Noel passed me a sorry smile.

I nodded my head.

I had binned my dress and my uncle promised to never tell my parents.  What happened today was something I never want them to know.  God.. they really don't know me at all do they ?

" Good."

We sat in silence for the most part of the car ride. Liam sat in the back with me and held me close to him the whole time. Stroking the palm of my hand with his thumb in circular motion.

" We need to think of a story to tell your parents as for why we look so fucking miserable " Noel finally spoke up.

"Just say we're tired. We're allowed to be" Liam said while looking at Noel in the mirror. Only just seeing his eyes.

"Okay".

And that was that. I had the most terrifying and horrible day of my life and nothing to show for it. I was glad that Noel and Liam came, I was glad to be going home. The pain however, was unbearable.

Noels pov:

My heart was beating fast at the devastating news. She could have told me at the least. I felt bad that I could have been an uncle. Fuck I technically am even though the kid ain't here.

This is one of them things in life, it happens and it's out of your control. There's nothing I could have done because I didn't know.

Liam, the poor fucker. Looked like his whole life just ended. He held on to Sally like there was no tommorow but I could see the hurt in his eyes. He was thinking about it now. I could almost hear his thoughts. I knew he was thinking about holly and Brandon, about what it would be like to be a dad himself and he was 100% beating himself up about how he put his words together in the past. Maybe if he hadn't, he would be a dad.

Things happen for a reason however. I know he would be a great dad but neither of them have the heads for it yet.