You Come First

51

Damon and I sat in silence for the most part of the day. I knew I had dissapointed him and I couldn't forgive myself for it. I told him everything that happened at noels because I decided secrets weren't the best thing. Especially not now when all he needs is honesty.

Damon sat up, moving himself away from me ,"I better go to bed now."

He wasn't himself after I told him me and Liam were still in love. He didn't even bother arguing with me about how stupid it was. I knew he had no energy to live. Nothing was right in his life and I wasn't doing anything to help. That needed to change.

I grabbed his arm to stop him "no , sit down my love " . He sat back down and looked at me helplessly. As thought to say haven't I suffered enough with you now? At that moment I realised how big of a pain in the arse I've been. I've been going on about myself, only adding worry on to his plate. "Damon I'm sorry. Just stay with me tonight. I can make it up to you"

"I don't think you can you see. You tell me you love me, I break up with Justine, we sleep together-"

"Damon there's-" I gesture to tell him there's no need for him to get worked up but he cuts me off. "No Sally damn it. Listen to me . Just listen !"

"Sorry"

" Then you get angry because now I'm confessing my love to you . Which by the way  makes no sense because you said it to me like a day before. Then! You go and parade with prick number one with the crooked nose and cunt bag number 2 with the shit hair I mean really whats that hair cut about ? " Damon shrugs confused -putting it on over dramatically " and now", he laughs sarcastically ," you ask me to stay the night in your bed? After leaving me on my own when I've just ended a 4 year relationship. After everything I've done for you?"

I felt my hands shake, my mouth opened slightly but I had no words to speak with. He was right.

"I'm starting to think you're forgetting who was there for you when no one else was"

"Damon I'll always thank you for that. But I can't forget where I came from or who I spent most of my life with" I felt tears run down my face.

He let out a silent ppft. Smiling and shaking his head At the same time. He was dissapointed. "No Sally. But you could return the favour by not leaving me the day me and my girlfriend split up. Nice pal I've got there". He turned around and walked away. This was bound to happen. He was way too silent all day . I knew I would not get off so easy.

I followed him in to his room even though the door was slammed shut in my face. I opened it up and charged towards him "no Damon! I'm not leaving it like this . We're gonna have to make up"

"What ,cos you say so?"

"No because you're my friend and I'm sorry that I left. I got scared when you said you loved me. I'm no good with that"

"But you are when Liam says it"

"But that's different Damon!" I made sure to highlight the word different with the tone of my voice

"Well exactly. So are we done here then or what ? Can I go back to sleep?"

I sighed , putting my hands over my head . I didn't know what else to say. He was upset with me and had every right to be so. I didn't want to leave him in the room alone, but I knew I wasn't welcome.

Instead of arguing with him I walked out and left him to it. I knew I was taking the piss and I needed to get a job. It wasn't fair on Damon to pay for everything. He already has for so many years. But even though he forbid me to get a job, I will still have to find one. Just to feel like I belong somewhere. Damon always says it will cause chaos if people figure out who I am, so instead of heading to a local club where I could get a job easily with my status, I decided on going to the smallest pub in London. One that no one has heard of, which was pretty fucking hard. Eventually I got to a shady street with a small sign on the door which read Cinnamon John's . I freaked out over the sign. It was a sign to work there. The elderly woman wondered why I wanted a job there, in the middle of nowhere and where no body goes.