HIRED GUN // H.S AU

sixty-six

AMARA

Harry wasn't there to see his baby twins second ultrasound, he wasn't there to hear the gender of our babies.

"Hey," I whispered, stroking his outgrown hair to the side of his face, feeling the usual tears resurface. "I miss you so much."

"It hurts, Harry. I feel like, like my chest is caving in every second you stay motionless on this goddamn fucking bed. I can't express how much I miss you, it's indescribable. I feel physical pain from missing you. I miss our little arguments over you using my toothbrush, or over you leaving wet towels on the floor. I miss your stupid fucking jokes, I miss your lips. I miss your annoyance towards being the small spoon, and I miss the fact that you secretly loved it," I laughed through a sob, grabbing his hand.

"I'm 24 weeks now, I found out the gender of our babies. Do you wanna know?" I asked, placing his hand onto my enlargened bump. "You'd be hollering if you saw my stomach, it's so big now. You'd love it," I lifted his hand, pressing a kiss to his cold knuckles.

"We're having a boy and a girl," I smiled, intertwining our fingers. "I'm not sure on names, we can decide on them when you wake up. I also need your opinion on the rooms, should we get them separate rooms? I don't know. We'll decide when you wake up, okay? Because you will wake up. Harry, you have to wake up. For me, your them." I choked, biting back tears.

I'd been visiting him every day for the past 3 months he's been here, and my hope of him waking up never disappeared. He was Harry, he was strong.

"I'll see you tomorrow, okay? I have to go home or else Louis and dad will worry. I love you, Harry. Always," I lowered my lips to his forehead, kissing it softly.

I smiled at Olivia when I walked out, her hand rubbing my back as we walked to her car. I was quiet the whole ride back, Olivia used to it by now. Everyone saw a change in me after Harry landed in his coma, a fragment of me had disappeared. I didn't show much emotion, the most I showed was when I talked to Harry.

My nightmares had come back. This time they consisted of Harry's temporary death, on repeat. It was horrible, and I dreaded sleeping every night. Harry wasn't there to comfort me. Louis comforted me when he heard me screaming, but he wasn't Harry.

"Ara," I cringed at the nickname Harry would call me, snapping out of my daze. I jumped out of the car when I noticed we'd arrived, following Olivia into the elevator. I rubbed my tummy when the twins kicked, breathing deeply.

"Calm down," I cooed at them, flinching when one of them kicked harder. They were most excited when Harry's hand was on my bump. Olivia smiled sympathetically as I sighed, unlocking the front door. Louis hugged me when I entered, asking how Harry was. Louis visited him regularly, but not daily. I couldn't go a day without visiting him.

I briefly told Louis on Harry's condition, placing a hand on my back as I walked into Harry and I's bedroom. I grabbed one of Harry's shirts, pulling it over me and crawled into the bed. I fell asleep with Harry's scent surrounding me, imaging him beside me.

—————

"Haz," I sighed, holding his hand in mine as I sat down in the chair beside his bed. "I'm a fucking whale and I need you to be here to tell me I'm beautiful."

"I've picked out some names, but you can tell me what you think when you wake up. I like the name Aspen Faye for a girl? And for the boy, maybe Oliver Zayn."

"I jinxed myself as well. I started getting morning sickness, it's horrible. A guy tried giving me his number at the cafe downstairs the other day, and I slapped him for hitting on a clearly pregnant and taken woman. They kicked me out after that, that's why I didn't return Tuesday."

"I bought the cutest shirt for Aspen yesterday, you'd love it. I am 34 weeks now, due in a couple weeks. I'm gonna need you wake up, okay? You can't miss your babies birth, you've already missed too much. I love you," I squeezed his hand, standing up and walking out before I kicked the beeping machine across the room.

"Olivia and Elijah are moving into an apartment not far from here next week. It's nice to be living all close together, my dad is still travelling but he visits as much as possible. I still live with Louis, I think you'd prefer me to stay with him rather than by myself, and so would I. We'll be living with our best friend anyway, we can move out and into our own place when you wake up. He's excited for the babies, I have a feeling we'll have many willing babysitters on our hands."

"I love you, see you tomorrow," I kissed his forehead, walking out to Olivia who was patiently waiting outside. I smiled at her when we walked to the car, completing the usual schedule.

——————

"Amara!" I jumped awake at the sound of my name, sitting up as Louis leaned over my body. I groaned loudly as he shook my shoulders, hitting his arms off them angrily.

"What the fuck, Louis?"

"It's Harry," he breathed out, my heart catching in my chest. I pulled myself out of bed immediately, tugging on a pair of sweats and wobbling out the door behind Louis. I shifted impatiently as we took the elevator, not knowing if I wanted to know whether he was awake or gone.

"Lou," I shakily breathed, his head snapping in my direction. "Please tell me he's okay."

"I'm not sure, they called and said to get here as soon as possible," Louis admitted, helping me in the car when we reached it. I fastened the seatbelt over my swollen belly, whispering prayers, even if I wasn't religious, that Harry would be okay.

"Amara? Harry would never leave you or those children willingly," Louis kept his focus on the road as he drove safely but speedily to the hospital. I clicked my seatbelt off as soon as Louis parked outside the hospital, thanking the hospital mentally for being so conveniently close to Louis' apartment.

"Please be okay," I repeated as we rushed through the hospital, not bothering to stop at the front desk before making a bee line towards Harry's hospital room. I stopped in my tracks when I opened the door, the bed made and empty as a cleaner vacuumed the floors.

"Excuse me?" I walked into the room, clicking my fingers at the lady. I smiled when I gained her attention, "Where is the patient that was in here?"

"I'm a cleaner, not a nurse."

"Anyone!" I snapped as nurses walked past carelessly, tears swelling in my eyes as I thought of why Harry wasn't in his room. He wasn't gone. I refuse to believe he was gone.