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"So two years you've been back and how does it feel?" Whoopi asked me after all of us came down from our fits of laughter. My huge smile faded away but I still kept a small one. A little force one.
"It's been hard." I said, moving a strand of hair out of my face, "everyday I wake up in shock that I'm in bed or I find myself doing little things I use to do on the island and it gets hard. As much as I love being back... I miss being on that island. I didn't hurt as much as I hurt now."
"And why's that baby doll?" Whoopi continued.
"If he sees this I'm sorry if I make you uncomfortable but everyone knows before I disappeared I was dating actor Tom Holland. Everyday I worried for him, everyday I cried because I wasn't with him, I prayed to God that one day he would find me and when the day came that I was found. I was rushed to the hospital and his best friends were the ones to tell me that he had moved on. It killed me because all I wanted to do was to see him and kiss him and tell him I was sorry and that I was back."
"Why would you tell him you were sorry?" Sonny furrowed her eyebrows. I glanced at her and shrugged.
"Something inside me felt like I need to apologize."
"Earlier when you said you missed being on that island... do you really miss it?" Sara asked.
I gave her a nod, "yes, I do miss that island. It was hard living there but I adapted. The island was a beautiful place like, The Blue Lagoon for instance besides the whole tribe thing and incest. My best friend Noah who also disappeared with me in the island, he has to come into my room at night to calm me down about having nightmares."
"What are the nightmares about?" Whoopi asked.
"The plane crash, the day I was saved and the day my good friends Harrison and Jacob had to tell me the news... I'll even have dreams where I'm back at the island and when I wake up I feel... empty."
"Do you wish to go back to the Island?" Joy questioned.
That's a good question. I hated being there but now I miss it. I also hate being here back to my old life. Back when I was at the island I was away from all the drama and media... Do I wish to go back?
"I don't wish to go back but... I miss the life I had there. I'm not the same girl I was before the plane crash and that's what people think, because I'm back I'm still that girl but I'm not. I'm physically stronger, I'm more aware, I don't mind the wilderness, I'm use to things that I never thought I would be use to. If I could live in that island one more time. I would."
"Do you think you're emotionally strong? Because you said you were physically but what about emotionally?" Paula tilted her head at me.
I shook my head. I didn't even hesitate, "no, emotionally I'm not strong but I'll get there some day." I said.
