Tom Holland Imagines

Inncorrect Quotes 4 // Tom Holland

Tom: guys I need to tell you something...

Zendaya: Did you finally realize that you're the tiniest person in the world?

Tom: wow that was harsh, but no I-

Zendaya: did you get Y/n pregnant?

Tom: I wish, but no, not yet. Listen, I kinda broke your toilet...

Zendaya:

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Tom: I don't understand why we're wasting time learning piano, I would much rather show you what else my fingers can do.

Y/n:

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Tom: can you at least try to see this from my perspective?

Y/n: *crouches down*

Zendaya: *gets on the knees*

Tom: I hope you both die

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Jacob: what are these?

Tom: these are STD's

Zendaya: what are you talking about?

Tom: STD's! Save the date. For mine and Y/n's wedding

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Tom: remember our date?

Y/n: clearly!

Y/n: we were staring into each other's eyes...

Tom: yeah! And then HE came

Tom: Harrison. He stands in front of us and OPENED HIS DAMN SODA

Tom: and I said "dude, we're having a moment" and he said "and I'm having a cola."

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Tom: I hate being touched, I hate human contact.

Tom: the last time I touched someone was four years ago when I slapped them.

Zendaya: you're literally cuddling Y/n's right now.

Tom: that means nothing

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Tom: being cute is exhausting

Zendaya: that's probably why Y/n is still sleeping

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Y/n: can you pick up milk?

Tom: yeah it's pretty easy

Y/n: I meant from the store

Tom: I would imagine it weighs the same there too

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Tom: who ate my leftovers?

Zendaya: who ate my best friend's ass

Tom:

Tom: ok.

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Zendaya: Fuck, Marry, Kill. Tom, Jacob, Harrison.

Y/n: Fuck Tom, marry Tom, kill Tom.

Zendaya:

Zendaya: that can't be healthy.

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*after's Y/n and Tom's baby is born*

Harrison: so, is the baby awake yet?

Y/n: oh no it's still nap time, he'll be awake soon.

Harrison: oh ok, where's Tom?

Y/n: I said it's nap time.

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Zendaya: Tom no

Tom: Tom yes!

Harrison: Tom no

Tom: Tom maybe...

Y/n: Tom no

Tom:

Tom:Tom no :(

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Tom: what the fuck!

Y/n: language!

Tom: whom the sexual intercourse

Y/n: what the fuck

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Y/n: last year I asked Santa for the hottest person alive

Zendaya: what did you get?

Y/n: next morning I woke up in a box.

Zendaya:

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Zendaya: sex?

Tom: three times a day.

Zendaya:

Zendaya: I mean, female or male?

Tom: it does not matter but if its Y/n, it's better

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Y/n: *knocks on the door*

Tom: you can't come in!

Y/n: why not?

Tom: because uh... Harrison is naked!

Harrison: what?!

Tom: well I can't say I'm naked, she's allowed to see me naked.

Harrison: why does anybody have to be naked?!