I wish you could hear yourself. Hear the things you said to me. I wish you'd go back and actually see what you said to me. It's fucked up what you say to me. And it's totally fine to you. It's fine to tell me these awful things you think about me. And if I'm so awful then why would you want me around anyways, just so you can tell me this crap and make me feel like shit? Honestly why do that. What person would want to change for you when you're just listing off how they're a bad person to you for 5 minutes. Why would you telling me how bad I treat you elicit a positive response. What logic does that have. And all of this started just because I wanted you to know that I care about your feelings. Of fucking course I have morals. But all I wanted you to know was you're above my morals. Because if you weren't above my morals then I wouldn't fuck you without being in a relationship with you. All this just because I wanted to be nice. Because I tried to tell you that you were important to me. And somehow you ended up telling me how shit I am to you. That I never tried. I always tried. I still tried. This whole time I tried. I tried not to take anything personal. And when I started to I tried to check myself. I tried to not take anything out on you. But as usual nothing was enough. Nothing was good enough. My effort wasn't good enough for you. I told you you could block me. I don't know what I did for you to finally do it. But I told you. I just hope one of these days you see how messed up it is that you'd do that to me. It's like yelling at a child. Just constantly piling on things that are shit about someone. And I get it. I do the same thing. It's hard to stop when you're on a roll. You want to get all your words out. But you act like it's fine to beat someone when they're down and then you accuse me of being an asshole for doing the same thing. I just wish you took a step back and read what you said to me and understood my reaction and how I felt. I don't know. It doesn't matter. None of it matters. You blocked me. Which hurts. But I'll get over it. I did just want you. If you ever read this. I just can't be the only one changing. I can't be the only one trying to understand. I just. I hope you find your person. I really genuinely do. And I hope you don't unblock me this time.
