I'm trying to convince myself that I really do hate you. I mean really, what kind of person just disappears. What kind of person who is supposed to care about you can cause so much pain. I mean you're thinking the same thing right. But at least I tell you what is going on. Im clear with what I want. And you are not. You just want to disappear and have nothing to do with me. You are totally fine with causing me pain and intentionally doing so. I dont do anything intentionally to hurt you. I dont ignore you. I dont do any of the crap that you do. I hurt you, definitely. But I didnt do these things to you. You left me, thats what you seem to forget. You think I continue to be yours once you leave, and that is not how it works. I didnt cheat on you, I didnt anything. I get being upset, I do. But I fucking tell you. Ya I should've told you a long time ago. But I didnt because I was afraid of what you would do to yourself. And I get it, I lied at first. But I told you the truth. You always get the truth. I dont get shit from you. Ever. I have to find shit out on my own. You dont tell me anything. You fucking disappear with not even a goodbye. You dont care about me. You have no reason to, but shit. If you wrote even half the shit I have written I would be right fucking there telling you that you are wrong and asking if you are okay, but not you. You dont care whether I live or die. And thats fine. But dont fucking do petty shit. Dont fucking intentionally make it worse. Fucking tell me you have someone else, because you would want to know if I did. And then fucking tell me goodbye. Fucking treat me like a person. I fucking know there isnt anything here anymore. I know you dont give a shit about me or how I feel. But fucking treat me like a person. Fucking give a shit a little bit. I dont know how the fuck you can read my pain and panic attacks and not give a fuck at all. Simply because Im a person going through a hard time, not that you care about me any more than any other person. I just dont fucking understand. I do and I dont. I dont see how someone who said they cared so much about me could see me in pain and not give a shit what so ever. But I guess your true colors really come out dont they. You dont really give a shit about me that much. You like seeing me in pain over you. You like that there are cuts on me because of you. You dont care to be in my life. Well good for you. I hope your new person is great. Thanks for not giving me the decency that I have always given you by fucking telling you what is going on. I hope my next person is absolutely nothing like you. I am fucking mortified at myself that I still want anything to do with you. Next time you want to ignore someone and tell them shitty things, dont wonder why they then go to someone else alright. Its not rocket science. Thanks for showing me who you really are. Just another heartless asshole, pretending to be someone who actually cares. Extremely disappointing.
