So. I don't know what's going on. And I don't know if you'll ever read these again and I'm almost positive that you blocked me. So. I don't know. The only assumption I have is that you found someone better. And honestly I hope to god that you did. I hope that you blocked me and you're okay right now. I hope that you had a good day. And that you're at least not unhappy. I just want you to be happy. And I can't do that anymore. At all. Seriously. I'm so fucked up... just mentally. Plus all the fucked up shit I've done to you. That's been on my mind recently. Like what my problem is. And. I have no idea. I just know that it's not okay. And you deserve better. And I want you to start fresh with someone who is better. You shouldn't have to worry about what I'm doing. You shouldn't have ever questioned how I feel about you. I hope you're erased me completely. And I just. I want the best for you. And I'm not it. And I'm sad about it of course but. I have to let you go. I can't keep you here. I can't do this to you anymore. And I know you're gonna think that this means that I did another shorty thing. And I haven't. And I'm not planning on it. You just deserve better. You deserve someone who is good like you are. Who will do for you what you did to me. And I'm so sorry it took me so long to figure it out. And I just. Idk. I can't sleep. And I want to slit my wrists open. And I just want to talk to you but my mind is clouded with why you didn't talk to me today. That your probably with someone else and blocked me. And it tears me up but I hope that's what you're doing. And I feel like I can't sleep because you're not sleeping. But I don't know. I don't want to think about what you'd be doing this late at night with someone else. I can't bear it. And I don't know how you did it. I honestly wouldn't blame you for doing the same to me. I just. I don't know. My head is screaming to let you go. And I think I have to listen this time. I can't keep hurting you. I fucking refuse to. And I keep checking my phone to see if you've texted me. But I don't think I'll ever hear from you again. And that's okay. As long as you're okay. As long as you're happy. As long as someone makes you comfortable. And pets your head. And massages your shoulders. And someone you can talk to when you feel like this. Reassures you when you're in doubt. Quiets the mean things your mind tells you. I want those things for you. And I know I can't do them. And I don't blame you. And it's okay. I love you. And it's about time I let you go. I let you be happy. I let you move on. I'm not upset at you or mad. I just hope that you're okay. That's all. That's all I want. I just love you so much and I want the best for you. And you so fucking much deserve it. And I hope you find it. I really do
