I think too much about everything. And everyone. Not just you. But god knows I think too much about you. I'm sure you know too. I think about if small things hurt you too. Small things that I do. Because small things that you do hurt me. It makes me want to get rid of all of my social media so I don't have to worry about it, because I won't ever know. I'd have no way of knowing. I want to block you so that I'd have no way of knowing how you are or if you're thinking about me. Because having you unblocked and you saying nothing makes me know that you're not thinking about me. That you have no wish to talk to me. You said I could talk to you if I was upset. But obviously I can't. Because if I am upset you're ignoring me. If I say anything you ignore me. So what's it matter if I talk to you. You say nothing in return. Nothing that's wrong with me matters to you, you don't care like you used to. You don't feel for me what you used to. You said so yourself. You said you don't feel for me like you used to. You said I don't do the things I used to for you. I don't make your day better or make you happy. I don't bring your mind peace or make your life any better. I'm just nothing. And I asked you what you lost because you got to know what I lost when you left. You got to know that your absence is significant to me. And I don't. To me your life is just going along like usual or maybe even better without me in it. To me you're just dealing with your shit and you don't feel my absence. And if I did block you, you wouldn't care. You wouldn't notice or give it a second thought. It would just be whatever. It would be nothing. It wouldn't hurt you. It wouldn't do anything to you. I wanted to know why you don't want me to try because you said you did want me. And obviously you don't because you don't want me to try. Nothing I gave you was enough. No time or space I gave was enough. You wanted to separate from me completely. Not just have time or space. And that hurts. And I don't know how you don't understand why it hurts. And I guess it doesn't matter. None of it matters. Because you made this over. You made it to where I couldn't try. You didn't even give me the chance. You just packed up and left. And took your heart and the light with you. You took everything we had and left. And I wish I could just get over it already. I know you read what I want in a person. I know you read what I want with a person. And i know you have no want to be that person. To do those things with me. And it Fucking sucks. It sucks loving someone who isn't real. It sucks loving someone who doesn't want you. And I guess you wouldn't know how it feels. And I guess I'm glad. Because I don't want you to feel unhappiness or pain. I guess I'd rather it be nothing for you not to have me. So that you wouldn't have to feel like this. You wouldn't have to wait around for me to move on so you can be sad about it until you're okey enough to find someone else. We were doomed from when we said we'd meet in Seattle. Because that just solidified an end. I was hoping we wouldn't need it. But you. You were praying for an end. I just.. I'm so hurt that words can't describe it. And I guess I'm glad you don't feel it. I'm glad losing me was nothing. And I'm glad I don't do those things for you so you don't have to try and live a half life without the person who did so much for you. I just hoped everything we had wouldn't fade for you. But it did. And I'm so sorry I wasn't the right person so that it wouldn't fade. So I'd always do those things for you. I'm just so fucking sorry
