Really. I can't believe you. I just want to know. I want you to freaking tell me for once instead of make me have to find out some fucked up way. Because I will. I will find out. And it'll fuck me up so much worse than it would if you would've just been honest with me. You've never been able to just come out and Fucking say it. With anyone. And there have been multiple people and multiple times. And it would've been easier for me if you just cared and respected me enough to say it to me. I'm tired of the flowery words. And I'm tired of you ignoring it. I just want to hear the truth. And don't I deserve that. Instead of the I'm doing this for you Bullshit. And it is bullshit. If you were doing anything for me it would be staying here with me and trying. It's Bullshit for you to try and save me from you. And you know that. If you thought I was strong then you'd know I can handle it. Either you telling me the truth or being with you. I could handle it. Because I've handled everything this far. And it's not fair for you to do that to me. To make me the reason it didn't work. Because you were trying to save me. It's fucked up. And whatever you're gone. But don't make it worse by having another person and not telling me. Because when I find out it'll be the world crashing around me all over again. And if you don't then fine. I'll just anticipate it until I'm over you and don't care. But I fucking deserve to know. Just like you said you would want to know. Don't I deserve to have the same thing that you think you deserve. I'm not asking for a conversation. I'm asking for the truth. And it fucking hurts that you read my texts and say nothing. It hurts that you ignore my pain. And it's fucked up for you to do so. So just fucking tell me. Just fucking tell me the truth that you love me but aren't in love with me. And that there is someone else. Because no way in hell would you do this to me if there wasn't someone else. I deserve the truth. And you need to man up for 5 seconds and give it to me. Break my heart completely. And down the line. You'll realize that I could've handled it. I could've been there if you would've just allowed me to be. Maybe you'll regret it. Or fuck maybe you won't. Maybe you'll already be moved on with someone else and happy because I couldn't have ever made you happy. Maybe there's a person better to help you through whatever this is. But fuck. I deserve the truth. Right now you've just left me in the dark. With my thoughts. And they fuck me up worse than you ever could. And ya I'm just sitting here waiting for you to fucking realize that it's me or no one. That you want to try. That you want me there. So if you've made up your mind that I'm not. Then I deserve to know. I deserve to know that there's someone else. I deserve for you to care enough to give me what you wanted. And ya maybe you don't care if I have someone else. Maybe you don't want to know. But I do. I want to be broken completely by you. Stop trying to fucking save me. Because that ship sailed 5 years ago. I decided that I was here until the end with you. No matter what you went through. What I went through. I wanted to be your strength until you got yours back. So your reason for doing this is Bullshit. What you're doing now is destroying me. So tell me the truth. Whatever that is. But answer those two questions. If you're still in love with me, if you ever were. And if there's someone else.
Just. Care for five seconds.
