I think I have to start erasing stuff about you off my phone. Pictures. Messages I've saved. Notes of things about you. As well as getting rid of stuff. Your old letters. Gifts. Books. Clothes. I mean. I have no use for them. What's the point of me keeping any of it and being sentential about it. I have to start before you start doing shitty stuff even more. I mean even now I'm just that fucking girl that bothers you that you ignore. I'm like fucking corrina now. You have no feelings for me. And you don't want to see or talk to me. So. I mean really. What else is there for me to do. I fucking hate being a burden. I hate sticking around knowing I'm just a nuisance that won't go away. I hate feeling stupid for bothering you while you feel nothing for me. I mean really. And you're not man enough to just out and say it. To tell the truth. You've never left anyone. You don't know how. So you'll just ignore me until I get the hint. And I guess it's received now. You don't love me. You don't want anything to do with me. I mean. I can tell you how hurt I am. And you just ignore it. You avoid anything I say about how you feel about me. I mean fuck. You don't read this. So just. What's the point I guess. And ya some dumb part of me is hanging on like you'll show up and profess your love for me. And be the person you used to be who loved me but. You won't. You don't care. You want to move away and leave me behind and. So why should I keep anything about you. Really it makes no sense. I obviously need to try to move on from this. Considering you already have and feel nothing. So good on you for getting a head start. Lucky you. You haven't ever had to be the person waiting around. Who isn't loved or wanted. Not with me at least so. Lucky you. Maybe that's the only reason you wanted me. To feel that finally. To feel like the one in control. To be the one whose heart isn't ripped out when the dust settles. To be the one to not give a fuck and walk away and move on. It makes sense. And I don't know why you're so hostile to me about it. I don't know if you don't like that I'm catching on to your game or what. Maybe you just don't like that I know you're lying. And that's why you get mad. I don't know. I know you don't understand. If this was reversed you wouldn't be devastated or even sad for me not to love you or want you. And for me to move far away. And to ignore you and all your feelings. I know you wouldn't give a fuck about it. But you can't understand that I do? I mean. You can't understand how what you do proves everything I say. Really. You're not stupid. So what's your disconnect there. You ignore me. You don't want to talk to me. You don't want to see me. It all completely proves that you don't care. That you don't feel anything for me. So why lie to me. Why tell me you care. Why make little comments about us fixing anything. Just why. Why act like you care so much about me and someone else. When you don't even want me. I mean it makes zero sense. And I just. I don't know. Maybe I should just block you and get it over with. So I don't have to feel like a bother and a burden anymore. So I don't have to worry about you and someone else. So I don't have to think about how you feel about me. I mean. You're moving away. And you don't want anything to do with me so. Idk. I'll probably start with the things you've given me that I still have. Clothes and things. You never really wanted to give me much anyways. Which I never needed of course but. Then I'll go to your pictures. And then the screenshots I have. Then the letters. Because the letters and the screenshots are all I have if the person who I thought really loved me. Talked about missing me and loving me. And wanting a life with me. It's hard to let that go. Which you wouldn't understand. But then, maybe after all of that I will be able to erase your number and block you. Because really. The only one heart broken here is me. The only one hurting over a lost person and lost relationship is me. You didn't lose anything. You just lied. And continue to. All the while treating me like I'm nothing. Like my feelings don't matter. Like I don't. You treat me like I don't matter to you. So. Why should you matter to me. And I know you won't read this. And if you did you wouldn't care. But. It's good for me to have a plan. I wish I never loved you. Actually. I wish you never lied about loving me
