I just woke up. It's early in the morning. Normally when I'd be going to sleep. And I'm freaked out. Scared. And I realized that it's been a long time since I could call you and you'd care enough to answer to stay up with me until I was okay again. It's been a long time that you stopped caring about me. And I hate you. I hate you for making me love you. I hate you for saying we could be friends but being the worst friend on earth. I hate you for not caring about me. I hate you for never being there. I hate you for disappearing when I need someone. I hate you for not loving me. I hate you for treating me like I'm nothing and thinking I deserve this. I hate you for lying. I hate you for doing this to me. And what fucking sucks. Is you couldn't care less. That's what fucking sucks about all of this. You don't fucking care. About me. About how I feel. About how you tear me apart. You don't fucking care. I'm just shouting into the fucking void, yelling at it to fucking give a shit about me. But you don't. And I fucking care so fucking much about you. I wish I didn't give a shit at fucking all.
