Surviving | In The Life Of An Author

Wandering | Thoughts

   I find myself wandering around in my head, looking for answers that won't be in there. Only in the other persons head.

   I find myself caught up in memory lane and start breaking down. Tears covering my face, sobs being withheld. Should I? Does...? Are the only questions I'm looking for the answers right now.

   Its never ending. My mind is my prison, my maze that I've been wandering for forever now. The same thing always happens though, I always cry. I cry for the sad things, the happy things, everything.

   I just want answers, I want to stop wandering aimlessly around in my head that gives me no answers only theory's. Only hope.

   What good is my hope if there's nothing to hope for? What good is my hope if I know its a different outcome? What good is my hope, if all it does is make me believe, make me hurt, make my want what I can never have?

  Its funny though because no matter how fed up I get about it I never want to get rid of it. The memories may kill me, and so might my thoughts but that doesn't mean there not beautiful and cherished with all my heart.

   I just wish instead of wandering aimlessly around that I had a destination, a happy resort, or maybe even just an exit.