Surviving | In The Life Of An Author

For Awhile | Thoughts

   Today I think was the last day I'll be seeing you in months. I love you so much. I wish I could have stayed longer, the whole day, I couldn't but I'm glad I got to see you one more time before I left for my trip.

   I'm not sure if you noticed or not but I was on the verge of tears as I tried to tell you I was going to miss you and it was so hard to even get that out. Just thinking about it hurts but then trying to talk about it god it killed me just saying that.

   You will never understand how much I love you because its not possible to even describe my love for you. Always, no matter what know that I love you, I care about you, I'm there for you and that your my everything, literally.

   Three days left here and then around two months there. Its going to kill me. I already miss you. I want to kiss you, hug you, even just be there with you but I won't be able to and that's going to rip me apart every minute of every day because I'm constantly thinking of you.

   Awhile back I made a promise that will always be with/on me, it was when we were together the first time. I'm going to keep that promise so please never doubt me because I don't doubt you. If you think I do, I don't, I doubt myself so don't think I doubt you when really I doubt myself massively. I'd tell you it but then I'd have to tell you the whole story including why it will always be with/on me and you'd get mad so no thanks.

   I'm going to make another promise which will also always be with/on me forever but I'll tell you this one.

   No matter what even if you don't love me I'll continue to stay by your side even if just as a friend. I promise I'll never leave and that I honestly love you with all my heart and want you to be my forever guy, my one and only. So I won't ever leave, even when I'm hurting.