Surviving | In The Life Of An Author

One Gun Two Bullets | Thought/Love Poem

Just here,
Thinking
I don't know how to feel
For you.

Should I leave?,
Probably
But I don't want to,
Am I stupid to stay?
Maybe
But that's fine.

I've had the realization
That I'd be better off
But I didn't listen to it
So I'm still here,
Hurting but happy your still
Within reach and eye sight.

If only you'd come back,
If only I had showed you
How much I love you,
If only I wasn't stupid,
If only.

Why am I so stupid?
What's wrong with me?
Why can't I just stop loving you?

I feel like ending everything everyday
Not just because of the break up
But because my entire life,
Who would miss me?
I'm alone
My family's better off without me,
My friends wouldn't have to deal with me,
He would be happy,
Right?
So why not?

But I can't bring myself to do it
I'd rather hurt fixing everyone else up
As I fall apart
Isn't that what life's about,
Not yourself but everyone else?
But the thoughts are always in my head
I guess I'll continue to say
'One gun, two bullets'