Finding Dean :.a Supernatural Fanfic.:

Chapter sixteen

Everyone was silent. Sam just looked to Dean and Dean just looked back, a cautious look on his face. This isn't how we wanted to tell him. It's not how I wanted to tell him but it just came out. I was mad and I shouldn't have let my anger control me like this.
Suddenly, Sam pushed passed me, lightly touching my shoulder as he did and stuck his hand out to his brother.
"Congratulations." There was no emotion in his voice. Something in me broke a little, hearing him talk like that. Something inside me felt like he actually wanted the baby to be his.
"I...uh...I'll be back soon. I have a few things to take care of, some errands to run. I'll see you guys later." With that, he left. I looked to Dean and he didn't look too pleased.
"I didn't...I'm sorry." I whispered. He just nodded and wrapped his arms around me. I cried silently, feeling awful.
"The eggs." I said, pulling away. Dean pulled the pan off the stove and turned back to me.
"I'll finish lunch. Why don't you go lay down?" He said, wiping the tears from my eyes. I nodded and walked away.
I found myself in my room, just sitting on the bed with my feet tucked underneath me, rubbing my stomach, looking down at it.
"You know I wanted your daddy to be your daddy so bad little one. But I wanted Sam to at least want you. It just hurt knowing that he didn't." I laid back and tried to relax but Sam's face was installed right in the front of my mind and I just couldn't get it out of my head. I rolled on my side and cried.
"Mom?" I heard DJ. I turned and saw him standing awkwardly in the doorway. "Are you okay?" I nodded a little and he walked over to the bed and sat down.
"How are you feeling?" I asked him. He shrugged.
"I feel fine. Just a little tired maybe." I smiled and grabbed his hand before squeezing it.
"I'm just glad you're better." He just hugged me and stood to go back to his room.
"Mom, I thought about what you said before. About finding other ways of helping people. You're right." Without another word, he was gone. He went back to his room and I was left to think about what he could have meant by that.

As days went by without Sam, I was beginning to wonder if he was coming home at all.
Now it's been a two months and I'm about to hit my seventh month mark and he walked in the door. He hunts with Dean and apparently Ruby is still alive but he doesn't come home with Dean anymore.
But now seemed a little different when he walked in. He looked at me and I could tell something wasn't right with him and another thing told me Dean knew about it.

"Dj help me with your sister please." I yelled as he came tumbling down the stairs. He walked in and saw me trying to race around the island in the kitchen, catch Constance and make lunch.
"Come on Connie, let's go play video games." DJ picked up his sister and started walking away with her when Dean stopped in the doorway.
"Nope, hand her to me. You go be a freaking kid." He took Connie from DJ and walked back into the kitchen and smiled at me.
"Daddy!" Literally the only thing she says with such excitement. She is definitely going to be a daddy's girl.
"May I ask?" I said with a smile that he didn't quite return, he looked at Connie with sad eyes as she pulled at the stubble on his chin. He didn't like it but he didn't stop her either.
"I had to do that growing up. My dad was always gone and it was my responsibility to watch Sam. Make his dinner, make sure he was out of the way when he was really young. It's just...I don't want DJ or Ben even, feeling like it's their responsibility to take care of their sister." He surprised me.
"I didn't mean..." I started before he cut me off.
"And I'm not saying you did baby. I'm not insinuating anything but when I'm here, the kids are to be kids. Babysitting is one thing but when they start having to watch her all the time..." He trailed off, admiring his daughter as she laughs and plays in his arms.
I just smiled at him and placed a hand on his arm so he'd look down at me.
"I love you."
"I still don't know why you do but I love you too."

Sam walked was sitting in the kitchen drinking a beer by himself. He didn't seem to notice my presence at the moment so I just watched him for a couple minutes before making myself known.
"Its four am. What are you doing up?"  I asked as he finally looked at me, his eyes lingering on my stomach a little longer than I honestly was comfortable with.
"I couldn't sleep, mom." He barely spoke up and I could barely hear him but that message was loud and clear.
"Are you okay, Sam? You seem a little off."
"I'm fine." He put his bottle down and started to walk away from me.
"I'm sorry." I blurted out before he could disappear before I get the chance to say it again. He froze and didn't turn to look at me, I barely turned to look at him.
"For what it's worth, I'm sorry I pushed so hard. It was unfair of me and to be honest I was scared and didn't know where my head was even at. I should have found a better way to tell you about the baby than I did." He still didn't turn and he didn't say anything. I watched as his shoulders rose and fell from a deep breath and he walked away. I heard the front door open and close and all I could do was sit because I was too tired to follow and my emotions were starting to get the best of me. I need to fix this.