Finding Dean :.a Supernatural Fanfic.:

Chapter eighteen

3rd person

Dean felt completely helpless. He never felt this helpless in his life, not even when his only brother died right in front of him, not even when his son was in a coma. No, this was different. It was different because not only was it his wife, but his unborn child as well.
"Mr. Winchester?" The doctor finally came out as Dean waited alone in the waiting room. He sent Sam to make phone calls so he could be here when the news came.
Dean stood to meet the woman standing in front of him.
"I'm Dr. Broots.  I'm your wife's doctor." She held out her hand to shake.
"How are they?" He asked, calmly, taking her hand in his.
"Well your wife is finally stabilized we're prepping her for an emergency c-section. In cases like this..."
"Wait." Dean cut her off, closing his eyes so he can try and pretend he didn't hear those words. "A c-section? That...that's to get the baby out. She's barely seven months. The baby won't survive." He could feel his heart speed up as the doctor explained more.
"Mr. Winchester. This is your baby's best chance at survival. The stab wound has punctured your wife's cervix, putting the baby at great risk. This is our only option. I'm so sorry. I cab better treat your wife as well. I'll be out as soon as we're finished. Then you can see your family." And with that she was gone.

Sam called everyone and explained what happened Bobby was already on the road by the time they hung up and Lisa promised to take care of the kids and to also not mention what was happening to their mother.
Sam walked out to find Dean in tears, face in his hands. He suddenly feared the worst.
"Dean." He didn't look up at the sound of his brother's voice. He just dropped his hands and looked straight ahead.
"They're delivering the baby. " He chuckled humorlessly before dropping his head and running his hands over his hair. "Damn it." He whispered, voice breaking. "Son of a bitch!" He yelled, hitting the rack of hospital pamphlets and magazines onto the floor. It was the middle of the night so there was no one in the waiting room with them.
"Dean, relax. It's going to be okay. They are..."
"No it's not, Sam." He said, a little to calm for Sam's liking. "We were supposed to protect her. Get her home and keep her safe. We were supposed to go in guns blazing, take him by surprise but I let you talk me out of it. Sam this is my wife and my child. They are in there fighting for their lives because of us. Because I couldn't save her. This is so far from okay." He turned away, fresh tears now falling. He walked away from his little brother. Sam was at a loss. He didn't know how to consol he brother because deep down, he knew he couldn't.
"Dean, I'm sorry. I didn't think..." Dean whirled around and did something Sam didn't expect. He decked him.
"You're damn right. You honestly thought negotiating was our ticket in. It would get Lucy back safely but you were so wrong. You risked her life and my baby's as well. Do you realize that?" Sam was still rubbing his jaw, in shock from the hit. "What if this was actually your kid? Would you have thought differently? Would you have been more cautious about what you were doing? Tell me Sam. Damn it I knew better! I fucking knew better. I knew Alastair,  what he's capable of and I still didn't listen to my gut." Sam still didn't say anything because he didn't want to admit the truth, if this baby had been his, he would have done the exact same thing because at the time it was what he thought was best. It was a gut feeling that ended up be so truly wrong and he'd never forgive himself if something happens to Lucy or the baby.

Bobby showed up not long after the brothers stopped taking and you could see in his eyes that this effected him gravely.
"So what do we know?" Bobby asked.
"She's still in surgery. I guess the knife hit her cervix and they have to...they have to deliver. It's the baby's only chance." Dean explained.
"She's only six months pregnant Dean."
"Don't you think I know that? My wife...god lucy is in that room alone and scared if she's even conscious of anything. She blacked out on the way here. I have seen her since."
"Dean Winchester?" Dean shot up faster than he ever has before. Dr. Broots was standing by the door, holding a file in her hands. His heart dropped, fearing the worst while hoping for the best.
"Is my family okay?" He asked.
"Lucy is in recovery. She's going to be just fine. She's going to have a long road but she's going to live with minimal issues. You have a son. He's stable right now but that could change at any moment. He's very small and he can't breathe on his own. He can't even cry. It'll be a shock when you see him. He has a very long road to take and he's going to need your strength to keep going." She finally finished explaining.
"He can have it. All of it. I just want him to be okay." Dr. Broots smiled a kind smile and placed a hand on Dean's shoulder. "Can I see her?"
"She's still in recovery, you can see her when she gets to her room but I can take you to the NICU to see your son." Dean's face changed as he just nodded and followed the nurse out to meet his son for the first time.
"Sam..."
"I'll call Lisa." He answered but instead of Dean just walking away, he surprised him with a bear hug.
"I'm sorry. And thank you." Before Sam could respond, Dean followed the doctor to meet his son.

After seeing their little boy, Dean sat with Lucy, waiting for her to wake up. His phone rang a few times, probably DJ but he didn't have the energy to talk to anyone. He sat in silence, impatiently patient as he waited.
He remembers his son, vividly. He saw how right the nurse was. He was so tiny, he could hold him in one of his hands. He had a tube in his nose for food and one that went down his throat for oxygen. The sight took a lot out of Dean. It was too much to take after a while so he came up here.
"Dean, DJ's here. Lisa brought him. Can he come in?" Dean was a little surprised by this but nodded none the less.
"Sam, wait." Dean said suddenly standing from his chair, reluctantly letting go of Lucy's hand. Sam stopped just before the door closed and made his way back in. He looked confused and out of place.
"Sam I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go off like that out there. I just...I'm dealing with a lot right now and I took it out on you and I'm sorry. But thank you for here man. It means a lot." Sam didn't say anything at first. No first, he gripped his brother's shaking shoulders and pulled him into his arms. Dean, taken aback by the sudden gesture, took a minute to respond. He slowly wrapped his arms around Sam and last the last shred of control that he had. Sobbing into his brother's shoulder.
"I can't lose them." Dean whispered. Sam squeezed a little tighter before pushing his brother back.
"You won't. God did not bring you back to just put himself in your bad graces, Dean. They will be alright. I can feel it." Dean merely nodded and went back to sit, his legs no longer holding him up.
"I'll send in DJ." And Sam went back out into the hall and when the door reopened, his son replaced his younger brother. Dean looked at DJ and could see the pain and worry that mirrored his own.
DJ didn't move away from the door, he just looked at his mom, unconscious in the hospital bed. Dean wasn't sure as to what to say to him but he knew he had to say something.
"Deej, come sit down." Dj finally seemed to notice his father's presence. He did as he was asked and sat in the chair next to Lucy's bed.
"What happened?" He finally asked, looking up at Dean with dark hazel eyes that matched his own. He wasn't sure how to answer but tried his best, knowing he deserved it.
"There was an...an accident and your mom...she was hurt Dean but she's going to be okay. We're just waiting for her to wake up."
"What about the baby?" Dj seemed younger somehow. He was so scared that even Dean couldnt help. Lucy was the one was comforted the kids. They just seemed to go to her. He didn't know what to do.
"Well it's a boy. You have a baby brother but he's really small Deej. He's got a lot of fighting to do." DJ nodded and looked back at Lucy. "Do you want to see him?" He nodded slowly. The sight of his unconscious mother suddenly too much to handle.

After a while Dean told DJ to go wait with his uncle. He needed to be alone with Lucy and he could see how much this was taking it's toll on his oldest.
Once DJ was gone, Dean took his wife's hand and squeezed it gently as he took in a few deep breaths.
"Baby, I am so sorry. This is all my fault. I never should have let this happen. I'm so sorry. Dean found himself sobbing for the hundredth time that day. It's almost been a  full day since they got here and still hasn't woken up.
"Dean, it's not your fault." Dean looked up to see Bobby standing in the doorway. He wiped his eyes with his free hand, refusing to let go of Lucy's with his other.
"This isn't fair Bobby. It should be me instead of her. She shouldn't be in This mess and damn it she should still be pregnant. She shouldn't be going through this."
"Dean I don't know the answers here. I can't tell you everything is going be alright because I just don't know. But I do know this; she's strong. She'll get through this just like the doctor said and be completely fine. Aside from the psychological issues of course she'll be back to our Lucy soon enough.
"And that baby; he's a Winchester Dean. He's definitely strong enough to survive being premature. Does he have a name yet or are we just calling him the baby?" Dean chuckled a little at the end which is what Bobby was after.
"No not yet. We haven't picked one yet. We though we had...we thought we have more time still." Bobby nodded once and placed a hand on the younger man's shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"Thanks Bobby. Have you seen him yet?" Bobby nodded.
"He's beautiful." Dean beamed with pride and look back at his wife.
"I can't wait for her to meet him."

It's been a few hours since Bobby went back to the waiting room and the doctors and nurses keep saying any time now, every patient is different but it didn't help. Dean wanted his wife awake and he wanted it now. This was an unnecessary torture. One worse than anything he went through in hell. He'd take all those years of that over this anyway. It just wasn't right and it wasn't fair.
A nurse came in then and checked on Lucy's IV and wrote down her vitals.
"She's improving, Mr. Winchester. This is good." Dean smiled as best he could as she finished what she was doing and walked out to her next patient.
"Come on baby, I need you. I can't raise this kids without you. Please wake up. Please. I love you. I need you please wake up." He just continued to silently beg for her to wake up with his face pressed into the bed. He couldn't take much more of this. It was only a matter of time until...
"Dean?"