Finding Dean :.a Supernatural Fanfic.:

Chapter twenty

Once I healed enough, I was able to go home. Jonathan had to stay but I didn't leave his side unless I was made too.
Dean went on a few hunts since the world didn't stop turning just because we have a premie. DJ and Ben were a dream, they would call and have Lisa bring them up but eventually they had to go home. Ben has school and technically so does DJ even though he's still homeschooled.
Dean was still hiding something from me but I still couldn't get it out of him.
"You're still healing. You need to concentrate on you and Jon." He would tell me when I asked.
"Hey Lucy. How are you today?" One of the NICU nurses, Mindy asked. I've become good friends with Mindy. She has been great with Jon and right now, with Lisa back home, she's been a blessing. She's someone I can talk to, not about what really happened that caused my baby to be delivered two months too soon but she was definitely good to have around.
"Hi Mindy. I'm still sore but getting better. How's my little guy?" I asked, looking through the glass of his little incubator. He was still so tiny, being only about two weeks old.
"He still has a long road ahead but he's still going strong. He's a fighter."
"Just like his dad." I whispered, smiling proudly at my son. Hopefully soon I can get to hold him but even if I were allowed today, I wouldn't. I want Dean to be here for that and he's still working a job, he isn't due back for another couple of days.
"You have two others right?" I nodded. "How old?"
"My son, he's thirteen. My daughter is two. My stepson is ten." She smiled at me as I looked back at Jon. "Do you have any kids?" I asked her to keep the conversation going.
"Yeah I have a three year old, Mia. She's awesome. Kind of what another one but my husband wants to wait."
"I miss when DJ was three. He always seemed to get into everything but he did it in a way that he couldn't get in trouble. Like he would get into my flowers but he would just be watering them or something. Little things to help out. Now he just wants to read books and play video games." Mindy checked on Jon once more before moving on to another patient.

I must have fallen asleep because suddenly, Jon had a new nurse. Janine. She was good but I didn't talk to her like I did Mindy. She was more to the point and just went from baby to baby.
I checked my phone and noticed Dean had called and I sent him a text to let him know how Jon was doing. I took a deep breath and saw my little one still hooked up to various things and tubes. I hated it but they all played a part in keeping my son alive.
Somewhere in the NICU, alarms were blaring and nurses and doctors were running toward the sound. I closed my eyes as machines and voices filled the otherwise silent ward.
Cries could be heard from every inch of the room and parents to kept to their own children as we suddenly heard the wailing of a distraut mother who had just lost her child.
Machines now silent and quiet filled the air. I opened my eyes again and realized just how bad our situation was. That could be us at any time. Sure, Jon is fine now but things could change tomorrow, tonight, or hell even in a few seconds. Nothing is promised and even though these nurses are brilliant and know what they're doing, anything could happen. What's meant to be will be.

Dean came back the next morning and woke me up, telling me to go back to the motel.
"Take a shower, change your clothes and eat some real food. You could use a break. Besides, Lisa is bringing the kids this weekend and you might want to get out with them too." I just shook my head.
"No I want to stay here in case something happens. I don't want to leave." Dean did not like my answer. He rubbed his hand over his face and pulled my chair away from the incubator.
"I'm not asking." He said with a smile. "It's my turn." I laughed a little before leaning up to kiss him. He pulled away to help me stand, waking me to the door.
"Sam is going to help you. He's going to get you to the car and help you at the motel." I was a little uncomfortable that but I still wasn't well enough to go it myself yet. I didn't have much of a choice.

Sam got me back to the motel and helped me inside. I decided that I did need a shower and I felt strong enough to do it myself. Sam didn't object as I made my way to the bathroom.
At first it was difficult and I almost called Sam for help but I got acclimated pretty quick so I washed up and I was out. I wrapped the towel around me and went over to the sink. I grabbed my toothbrush and put the toothpaste on it before putting in my mouth.
I looked up to the fog covered mirror and stopped, I pulled the brush out and simply looked at myself. Or at least someone who looked like me. The girl in the mirror was a mess, hair stuffed into a bun, brownish blonde curls matted together. Her face was pale, dark circles colored in just below her eyes. She looked sick, she looked exhausted.
"You okay in there?" I jumped when I heard Sam pounding on the door. I resumed brushing my teeth and looked down at the sink, spitting out the minty paste.
"Yeah, I'll be out in a minute."

I got dressed and walked out to see Sam fidgeting at the end of one of the beds.
"You okay, Sam?" I asked as I sat down on the other bed, folding my dirty clothes before putting them in my duffle bag. He nodded before standing up and walking to the door.
"We should get back. I'll wait in the car." He obviously didn't want to be alone with me, not that I could blame him, I was a little uncomfortable with him too but we need to get passed this.
I finished cleaning up and opened the door to our room and found the impala parked in front. He hasn't noticed me get and I saw that he had a flask in his hand and it was pouring something into his hand. What the hell? He put whatever it was into his mouth and he seemed to take great pleasure in it.
"What in God's name?" That's when he opened his eyes and saw me.