Finding Dean :.a Supernatural Fanfic.:

Chapter thirty one

I decided that I needed to stay home with the kids and Lisa while Dean and Sam met up with Bobby to figure out where to go from here. I was nervous now. Lucifer is walking around out there. Because of us. We let that demon bitch get in between us and now Lucifer is out of his cage.
"Mom. I got to go to the library again, I'll be back in a few hours." I heard DJ yell from the living room. I ran from the kitchen to met him by the front door.
"Deej, wait. You have your phone?"
"Yes mom."
"Your wallet?" He nodded. "Okay. Um just please let me know when you get there and text me when you leave." He nodded, surprised at the new helicopter mom standing in front of him. I just smiled and watched my son walk out the door. I ran my hands through my hair as the little ones started crying.
"I really need to get Connie her own room." I muttered as I walked up the stairs to see Connie standing next to the crib, trying to hush Jon.
"Hey cutie. What are you up too?" I asked, picking her up and setting her on her bed.
"He won't stop crying." She said, pointing back at her little brother.
"I know. I'll help. Okay?" She nodded and sat back on her bed, playing with her dolls. I smiled and walked over to Jon and picking him up, seeing what all the fuss is about.

Once he was changed and feed, I took Connie downstairs for lunch. I set her down on her buster seat and starting making peanut butter and jellies with some apple sauce. When I was finished, I set the plate in front of her and just drank a cup of coffee.
"Mama, why does the baby cry so much?" She asked as she picked off a piece of her sandwich. I sighed as I set my cup down.
"Sweetie you cried too. It's just the way babies communicate with grown ups so we can take care of them. They can't talk so the only way to let us knowing they need something is to cry." She nodded and got off her seat, starting to walk away. 
"Where are you going? You haven't finished your lunch." I pointed to the plate of food that has barely been touched.
"May I be excused?" She asked, in the adorable way that only a three year old can say it. I shook my head. "Nope. Sit and eat. Then you can go play." She huffed and stomped back over and started eating her food again. She finished it and stomped away.
"Such attitude. I wonder where she gets that from." I just went back to my coffee.

"Dean? Hey I've been wondering when you were going to call. What's going on?" I asked as my husband finally called me.
"Sorry, we've been trying to get this riddle figured out. We're close but it's taking way too long for my liking. I just wanted to hear your voice. How are the kids?" I turned off the tv and gave my complete attention to Dean.
"Well Deej is at the library again and Ben is at school. Connie and Jonny are sleeping. I texted DJ and told him to be home in about an hour and to text me when he's leaving the library. Lisa is picking Ben up at four from a study group and I'm just sitting around." I heard a soft chuckle and smiled myself.
"How did your check up go?" Jonny and I had a check up yesterday, Connie too. Just to see how all of us are doing.
"Well the kids are great. Doc says Jon is growing extremely well for a premie and Connie is right where she's supposed to be." Dean hesitated. This was a check up for me that we've been kind of dreading.
"And you?" He asked quietly. I sighed.
"Physically, I'm fine. There isn't really any long term damage done from Alistair."
"I sense a but coming." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
"Kids aren't possible for us anymore. The knife did too much damage." Dean and I talked about possibly having one more baby. Just one. But Alistair took that away from us.
"Damn. Are you okay?" I didn't know how to answer that. Was I okay?
"I think so. At least I will be. How about you? I know you wanted another little girl." He chuckled a little and seemed to take a moment to think of his answer.
"I don't know. Maybe. I just...it's just another thing." I sat forward in my seat.
"What does that mean?"
"It means it's just one more thing this life has taken from us, Luce. When is it going to stop, when is it going to be enough?" I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
"Dean, I...I don't have the answers here. I know that but what we have may not be the best situation but it's ours and I'm not asking for anything else. We have three beautiful kids, a place to go and amazing people that are on our side. That's all I need at the end of the day. Yeah, shitty things keep happening but that happens to normal people living normal lives too. There are people everywhere getting the short end of the stick anywhere you go but at least we have one another at the end of the day. And just knowing that, makes it all seem a little bit better in the end." There was silence on the other end of the phone. I was beginning to think he hung up on me.  Then he spoke.
"Lucy. I love you."
"I love you too Dean."

Later that night when I had Connie and Jon settled into bed and Ben and DJ were playing video games, I sat at the dinner table, playing cards with Lisa. I heard the phone ring from the charger in the living room so I yelled for one of the boys to answer it.
"Lucy it's Uncle Sam." Ben said, handing me the phone. I looked to Lisa and wondered what the hell was going on that my husband was unable to call me. "Sam?" I answered, still looking at Lisa.
"Lucy? Hey, um Dean asked me to call you. It's important."
"What's going on? Is Dean alright?"
"Dean is fine. It's actually Bobby. He's in the hospital. He's been stabbed."