☻ 5sos preferences ☻

23 ~ Song Preference - Therapy

A/N - Just a little warning...some people might not feel as comfortable reading Michael's. It's not really really bad, it just might be a teensy tiny bit triggering...

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Song Preference - Therapy by All Time Low

Ashton: 'When I woke up alone I had everything, a handful of moments I wished I could change'

I opened my eyes and turned to face what used to be the sleeping figure of Ashton. Obviously he's not here anymore because we broke up. It was completely my fault; I thought he was cheating on me and that led to a huge argument and turns put I was wrong...he was getting help off a friend to find me an engagement ring.

Did I regret not believing him? Of course I did, I loved Ashton so much and he was my world, I'm gonna regret what I did, especially because it made him leave. None of this was Ashton's fault at all and I've probably taken away his trust in relationships. All through our time together, I would get the boys come up to me and tell me how happy Ash was and how much I've helped him. Now they're not even come and talk to me. But I don't blame them. Like I said, this was my fault and i created this mess.

Now all that's left is me, and everything I said and done. All of the memories from the fight just keep coming back, whether it's now, at midday or 3am. No matter what, I'll always be reminded what I've done and why I'm now waking up alone, wishing I could go back and change the past.

Michael: 'Give me therapy, I'm a walking travesty, but I'm smiling at everything'

Another day, woo. Note my excitement there, not. I hated having to wake up in the morning because I didn't see the point for me to. But I done it for Michael. He's what is keeping me going and I thank him so much because I know there is something wrong with me. Anyway, I made my way downstairs and through to the kitchen where Michael was, carefully pulling my sleeves down. Yes, I do that. But I haven't told Michael; I didn't want him to worry.

'Hey sweetie,' Michael said cheerfully as I entered.

'Hey,' I said quietly and smiled at him, while at the same time, trying to make sure he doesn't notice anything.

We then spent the next few minutes eating in silence, well Michael was eating, I was only picking at my food.

'Eat up (Y/N)!'

'I'm not that hungry today...' I gave him a weak smile.

'Are you sure?' Michael asked, sounding a bit worried this time.

I just nodded my head. See, I know I need some help from someone but for now I think I'm just gonna try and help myself get better. I might be messed up on the inside but on the outside I won't show it, as long as Michael is there for me.

Luke: 'My lungs gave out as I faced the crowd, I think that keeping this up could be dangerous'

'Luke, I'm scared,' I whispered to him as a large group of fans came over shouting 'I love you!'s and screaming Luke's name.

'Hey, it's ok (Y/N) they only want to say hello, I'll go take a few pictures and then we can go,' Luke smiled at me.

I half-heartedly smiled back but sighed. Don't get me wonrg, I love the fact Luke wants to meet his fans and I love how enthusiastic his fans are, and the majority of them have accepted me but a lot of the time it got too much. I hated going out in public, let alone going out faced with crowds of screaming girls. It did scare me a lot. But I don't think Luke tended to notice, partly because I never told him and just went along with it. I knew I needed to tell him eventually because if I kept letting stuff like this get to me, I'm just gonna keep getting worse.

Soon, me and Luke got back to the hotel, where I was still recovering on the inside from the huge crowd. I really needed to tell him about it because I don't think I can take a lot of it much longer...I feel like maybe me and Luke should take a break. All of this was getting way too much, and it wasn't just that. It felt like I was being ganged up on, on Twitter, and that has jut gotten out of hand as well. Some days, I didn't even like looking at my phone or anything because of the immense amount of hate. So I had to make a decision: do I let this take over me until it gets dangerous so Luke stays happy or do I do what's best for both me and Luke?

Calum: 'Arrogant boy, love yourself so no one has to, they're better off without you'

'JUST GO CALUM!' I shouted.

'WHY? I DON'T SEE WHY I SHOULD!'

'Because you ruined me Calum Hood, I don't see why anyone would want to love you after what you've done...' I managed to get out, my voice breaking halfway through.

Today was mine and Calum's anniversary and he told me to meet him at this little restaurant in town. I got there at exactly the right time but he wasn't there. I waited for 5 minutes but he still hadn't turned up. I eventually got sick of waiting after about half an hour and went back to our apartment to find him getting it on with another girl! Any other day I would've of been angry like this but on our anniversary?!

'Tell me how long it's been going on Calum,' I said coldly turning my head to the floor.

'A few months...'

'A FEW MONTHS? WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 6!'

'I didn't even think you'd find out,' Calum said a bit more confidently.

'Oh, so you were planning to keep this up? Just leave Calum! I don't want to see you ever again because one, of what you did and two, you're so arrogant you don't even realise what you've done to me, just go and I hope nobody ever has to love you again!' I half shouted,while tears started to fall down my face. I know I sounded harsh but he broke my heart into more pieces than anyone else has before. I thought he was different but clearly he was just like everyone else.

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A/N - This is probably one of the first 'serious' things I've written and it made me sad :( but I guess we're both gonna have to get used to it...

So anyways... AMNESIA MUSIC VIDEO!!! It was awesome!! Did you guys watch it?! It wasn't even that much of a sad music video and I was still bawling 😭

Oh and this is for my friend cause she got annoyed at the fact I wrote the order of my prefs: Ashton, Luke, Michael, Calum and the only way I write it Ashton, Michael, Luke, Calum is in song preferences so she requested this.

🌸 fan, vote, comment, stay beautiful

PS: Thanks for the 7.9K reads and 300+ votes 😘