Mirabel, 31
One-Armed Nanny
So how did you wind up working for Quicki Bendover?
I applied for the job and she hired me on the spot.
Even though you are missing an arm?
Because I am missing an arm.
What do you mean?
She thought it would be a good lesson for her daughter to be around someone "less fortunate." Whenever Holly Anne complains, Quicki says, "At least you have two arms."
That seems condescending.
It is. But she pays three times what Lila did. And I get an entire wing in her house to myself.
That's great but... deep down, doesn't it bother you?
Having my arm torn out at the shoulder? That bothered me. Cashing in on it? Less so.
How is Quicki as a mother?
Quicki is a mother?
Are you saying she's not?
She gave birth to Holly Anne, but that is not the same thing.
She did give the impression that she was hands-off. Sorry. Figure of speech.
It's OK.
So tell me a little about Holly Anne.
I would rather not. She is just an innocent little girl and she deserves her privacy.
You're right. My apologies.
Ten years from now when she is poisoning a town's water supply at the bidding of her cult leader, we can discuss her childhood.
So you're saying that growing up with a permissive porn star celebrity mother doesn't necessarily make one the most well-adjusted individual?
As I said, I do not want to talk about Holly Anne.
Do you think Quicki loves Holly Anne?
I believe she does.
Well, that's something in her favor, right?
No.
No?
I am sorry, but Quicki does not deserve applause for loving her own child.
Why not?
Because it is something you do for yourself! Having children is nature's way of saying, "I love myself so much that I want to make more of me!" So of course you love your children! That is not a bad thing, but it doesn't make you some kind of saint.
Why are you so bothered by this?
Because Quicki has weaponized motherhood. Whenever someone criticizes her she brings up the fact that she is a mother. And suddenly, you are not attacking her dumb ideas, you are attacking motherhood itself!
Now that you mention it, she did that to me!
She does that to everyone.
Wow. You've had to put up with some really difficult employers. First Lila. Now Quicki. How do you do it?
I am the entitled-white-woman whisperer.
So I have to ask: Who do you like better, Quicki or Lila?
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