If Elrond and Thranuil had a pie-making contest.....
Elrond: You may be the last Elvenking *bradishes spatula* But I am fab and skilled in the art of pie creation!
Thranduil: Lies. All lies. Why do you think I am king and you aren't? Because I have better skills, obviously. *puts on oven mitts*
Elrond: Well, who will judge?
Legolas: *walks in* Me, duh *rolls eyes*
Elrond: To this I cry foul! For the views of your offspring shall be biased and tainted.
Thranduil: Drama queen. And by the way, he's not my offspring, he's my SON. Don't make me sound like an antelope or something "And then the antelope mate and produce offspring, which grow into healthy adults on the rich grass of the savannahs."
Elrond: .....What??
Thranduil: *changes subject* Anyway, if you wish it to be more fair, bring your son or something.
Elrond: Fine. Elladan! Elrohir!
Elladan+Elrohir: *show up* Yes Adar?
Elrond: The pie of greatness must be judged from whence it came....one of you must do this....*mysteriously raises eyebrows*
Elladan: Oh, me! I want to!
Elrohir: NO FAIR! I want to! I never get to do what I-
Elrond: Okay, okay, stop. Bring Arwen.
Elladan: *sulking* Fineeeee.
Elrohir: Seriously.....*scowls*
Legolas: Didn't you just quote yourself?
Elrond: ....possibly.....
Thranduil: We are here, our ingredients lay scattered on Elrond's beautiful granite countertops, and now....WE BEGIN!
*One hour later, whereupon Arwen has finally arrived, Legolas almost fell asleep, and Elrond and Thranduil have each baked a pie each*
Legolas: Can I eat a piece? Ada?
Thranduil: No.
Legolas: *whimper* B-but..
Thranduil: Legolas, stop acting like you're still a thousand years old! Honestly!
Legolas:........*tear*
Elrond: *clears throat* So.....*dramatic pause* we have.....*dramatic pause*....here....*pause*...two......great........
Thranduil: So sorry, but could you speak a tad bit faster? I don't want my pie to get cold...
Elrond:Fine,fine.DearmostesteemedladiesandgentlemenwegatherheretodaytowitnessthemostegregiouslydeliciouspiesintheentirerealmofArda---
Thranduil: I said speak a little bit faster, not spit out a dictionary at 100 miles an hour!!!
Elrond: -___-
Legolas: *claps* Anyyyyywayyyyy.....CAN WE TASTE THEM NOWWWWW?
Elrond: Yes, go, be honest, no cheating, try not to be biased because your sire made that pie--
Thranduil: NOT AN ANTELOPE!!!
Elrond: ...sorry.....
Legolas: *mouth full of pie* Ifink Adarmachedp iedber Elrodnapped ienn ducebd cdiuebc goosb
Arwen: *gags*
Thranduil: *scandalized* Legolas!!! Only antelope speak with their mouths full!
Elrond: What in Arda is your fascination with antelope???
Thranduil: *ignores him, looks intently at Legolas*
Legolas: *swallows with difficulty* Sorry, they're both so good! Elrond, I really liked your apple pie, it's delicious how the cinnamon melds with the fragrant apples and the warm crust is simply flawless...
Thranduil: *grinning*
Elrond: Why are you smiling..?
Thranduil: Go on, Legolas.....*gigantic grin*
Legolas:...Okay. Anyway, the flaky crust compliments with the amber notes in the honey, but...
Thranduil: *gleeful scream* BUT........
Legolas: *whispers* ....but....
Thranduil: *screaming* YEEEEEES??
Legolas: *faint murmur* ....but I like Thranduil's pie better. The pear and ginger go really well with the...
Elrond: *sighs* Every time, oh Valar....
Legolas: Elrond, no please your pies are so good....please...
Tharanduil: *smug expression*
Elrond:..........Arwen?
Arwen:.....it's a tieee?
Thranduil: Nice try, honey.
Elrond: #done
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The Item of Many Items
RandomOh, goodness. You must be truly desperate to come to me for help. But, if this is what you seek, so be it. Watch out, for great complex puzzles lie in ambush. I actually don't know where I'm going with this, but to put it simply, welcome to my book...
