Unless you want to speak like Davy Jones, don't add "uh" to the end of every word:
"You-uh are-uh very-uh annoying-uh, Jack-uh Sparrow-uh!"
Unless your life's goal is to speak like Jim Moriarty, don't make your word pitches totally random:
"Jim mOriARty!! HiiiIIIIIIII! JiM? Jim froM the HOSpiTAL?....OoOps! HelooOooo, BOys! I'm SOoOoo ChaNgablE!"
Unless you want to sound like a bad commercial, dont say everything faster than the speed of light:
"Thisplanisnotavailablewithoutacontactcallnowandcet10%offanycellphoneunder$150verizonwirelessamericasfastest3gnetwork..."
Unless you desire to speak like Severus Snape, please don't draw out every single word like you're trying to play the accordion:
"Harry....Potter. Our...new...celeberty....."
Unless you wish to speak like Saruman the White, don't h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶s̶u̶p̶e̶r̶ ̶d̶e̶e̶p̶ ̶v̶o̶i̶c̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶a̶ ̶b̶e̶a̶r̶d̶ t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶l̶o̶o̶k̶s̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶s̶m̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶a̶n̶i̶m̶a̶l̶ insult absolutely everyone without trying and talk about substance abuse:
"And yet, [Gandalf], you did not have the wits to see it. Your love of the Halfling's leaf has clouded your mind...."
"Radagast the Brown? Do not speak to me of Radagast the Brown. He is a foolish fellow.
Gandalf: Well, he's odd, I'll grant you. He lives a solitary life...
Saruman: It's not that. It's his excessive consumption of mushrooms! They've addled his brain and yellowed his teeth!
Unless you would like to sound like Gollum, please don't hiss at the end of your words or talk to yourself....
"Yessss, preciousss, we founds it, we founds the precioussss! Master! Shut up! We hates the tricksy hobbitsesssss! We hatessss it forever!"
Unless you wish to sound like Galadriel, drop the 'ethreal, mystical tone'.
"You bring great evil here, Ringbearer...."
If, however, you don't want to sound like a dwarf, pick up the 'ethreal, mystical tone'
(from the magnificent @feathertailsilver)
Any other ideas? Hehe as always, thanks for reading xD
Cheers!
YOU ARE READING
The Item of Many Items
RandomOh, goodness. You must be truly desperate to come to me for help. But, if this is what you seek, so be it. Watch out, for great complex puzzles lie in ambush. I actually don't know where I'm going with this, but to put it simply, welcome to my book...
