The Item of Many Items

Eliminate Elementary

Everyone guess who requested this......Aaaaand it is *drum roll*

@feathertailsilver !

Enjoy, darling xD

And the rest of you as well.

It was a sunny, clear day on the mountains of Ered Luin, and many small Orc-children were laughing, running amok during recess. "Barg!" Screamed the Master, showing her fangs. "Stop chewing on Helg!"

The young Orc grinned, showing bloody teeth, and said "Yes, Master..."

He ran off and started throwing things at Glup, the giant fish in the river. There were other fish, but everyone kept eating them so now Glup was the only fish left. The reason nobody ate him is because he was....um. A shark. So anyway, then a young Orc named Drog ran up to Barg and punched him in the stomach.

"Hey, Barg!" He laughed gleefully. Barg punched him back and laughed, then threw a rock at him. They were best friends. They plotted how to hunt Hurg, one of the popular kids. Everyone thought he was cooler than everyone because everyone who wasn't cool enough for him he "accidentally" fed them to Glup. Barg and Drog ran up to Hurg, who was writing bad words in blood on a rock.

"Hey, scum," they laughed.

"Leave me alone!" spat Hurg, who was "busy".

"Well, we were wondering if you wanted to play a little game," they leered at him.

"Your games are dumb," scoffed Hurg, kicking a squirrel out of the way.

"PLAY WITH US." yelled Barg menacingly.

"NOW, SCUM!" screeched Drog.

"Fine, I'll play," scowled Hurg. He blinked his yellow eyes and nodded as the rules were explained.

"I go first," he spat, showing his yellow teeth.

"No cheating...." warned Barg. Hurg took off through the trees, snapping off as many branches as he could. He finished, putting all his branches in a pile, and then the other two Orc-boys went, making similar piles.

"Since you go first, you get tied up first," smirked Barg, taking a length of coarse rope from his belt. It was made of human hair, and it was lovely and rough.

"Okay," Hurg agreed. They tied him up under his pile. Suddenly, Drog threw a torch into the brush and it lit on fire.

"Game over," they snickered, running away.

"AUGH!" screeched Hurg. The flames were licking up his legs. Just then, the bell rang, and the Master caught them.

"Go untie Hurg, Barg!" she shrieked. "We're not eating anybody until lunch time!!!" They started crying, because they just wanted to get revenge, not eat him. Except that sounded good, too.

Back in the classroom, with Hurg only slightly charred, the Master began to teach them Hunt. Hunt was everybody's favorite subject, because everybody was an Orc.

"Now, Orcs," cackled the Master. "Who can tell me what to hunt?"

"Anything that runs," shrieked Lerg, the class know-it-all.

"Good jooooob, my pet," answered the Master, fondly walloping him on the head with 101 Ways to Torture Dwarfs. "Now, how do you catch your prey?"

"By running at it and cutting its throat," Hurg said, grinning. "Then you eat it."

The Master tutted impatiently. "Describe, Hurg, descibe! We must FEEL the warm blood, TASTE the crunchy bones, SEE the soft flesh, HEAR the screams. Right class?"

"Yes, Master," the class chorused.

"Good," she sniffed. "You have all been very good. As a treat, you get to Fight!"

Everyone screamed in excitement. Some scuffles actually began instantly.

"GO!" yelled the Master, waving a flag made of skunks. They looked crossly around as they were waved through the air. The children punched and kicked and bit each other for 10 minutes, until the Master said. "Very good, class, I see that everyone is bleeding. You may go!" And with that, the little Orcs ran on the rocky path towards their lairs.

Well, that was interesting xD