I Hate You (girlxgirl)

36. Idiot

Adrienne's POV

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"In all seriousness Adrienne, you only have less than a month until the seniors fully graduate. I am quite surprised that you haven't accepted any college offers yet. You're the only senior that has at least over five colleges giving you full ride scholarships all over the country." He hesitated as the principal folded his hands across the wooden desk separating the two of us, "Most students would kill for your position right now."

I let out a sigh, running my hand through my hair in frustration as I pondered what he said. It was the last class hour of the day and the principal took the liberty to pull me out of class to have a chat about my valedictorian speech. Once he found out that I didn't actually know what college I wanted to go to, he became worried and started to lecture me about my future endeavors.

And to be honest, I was guilty of neglecting my choice in education. For the past few weeks, June and I have constantly been going out on little dates and rekindling our relationship. With each second that I spent with her, it made me forget my outgoing problems and the fact that I'd have to either choose to leave or stay for her.

I haven't even asked her to be my girlfriend yet. I didn't know what I was waiting for, but I felt like a little part of me was holding back because I was too afraid of commitment and hurting the blonde again. Each time I spend the night at her house, or her at mine, I knew she was silently wishing for me to make it official.

And yes, even though we slept together in each other's bed, we actually haven't had sex. Every time we remotely got close to that direction, a small fire of regret would build inside me and I'd pull away. Since I didn't know what my future would hold for me, I didn't want to go too fast in our relationship in case there was a small chance that I'd just leave and hurt her again.

Which I definitely didn't want to do.

But as I stared at the principal's portfolio of the multiple colleges that's been throwing offers at me like crazy, I couldn't help but wonder if I was hindering my future just to be with the girl of my dreams. It's that I was risking everything, and I wasn't sure what I was about to give up.

June made it clear that she was going to stay close by and attend UCLA in the fall. Her parents demanded that she stayed close by, and she didn't deny it considering she felt the same. So, there was the choice of staying nearby and also attending UCLA for English, and ultimately being with June for hopefully the rest of my life. And then there was the choice of attending Washington State University, which was a seventeen hour drive, and maintaining a long distance relationship with her and only seeing her on holidays or breaks. And lastly, there was still the choice of accepting a scholarship from one of the East coast schools, where I could maintain a long distance relationship with her, but I felt like the distance would make it even worse, causing a rift in our relationship again.

I shook my head mentally, getting a little too ahead of myself as I realized that we still haven't even made it official. I still had four weeks until we graduated, so I still had some time to ponder what was going to happen with my future romantically and academically.

"I'm quite aware of my situation now," I paused not trying to sound rude, "I'm just deciding whether I want to stay local or move for college."

"Local - like a community college? Or attending UCLA in the fall?"

I coughed, "UCLA, I don't know if I want to leave the area."

He seemed to stare at me for a moment, analyzing what I was thinking as he tilted his head and leaned back in his chair, "Why's that? If I remember correctly, during your freshman honor announcements a few years back, you thought Washington State was your dream school. Now that you have exemplary marks, they're even offering you a full ride scholarship."