My brother's best friend

Chapter 11 - what is wrong with me?

In the morning I woke up. I mean, I thought it was the morning but when I looked at the clock I saw it was 1 p.m. wow... I slept for almost 12 hours.

I remembered immediately what happened last night and how I cried myself to sleep after thinking about how stupid I was for rejecting him..

I'm feeling a little bit better than yesterday. I think it's because I just gave myself some time to rest...

I go out of my room to see Shawn still asleep on the couch. I go to Lucas's room just to make sure everything is ok.

I see him sleeping like a baby.

I Walk out and I make myself a coffee. I sit down and I drink it, while being on Instergram. It's just what I do.

"morning" Shawn says, making himself  a cup of coffee and sitting next to me.

"Good morning" I say back to him. I feel weird after last night. And also just seeing him here, around. It's a bit weird. I'm not used to it.

"How are you feeling?" He asks.

"I'm ok. I'm feeling better." I say

"I'm glad to hear" he says.

"Did you talk to Camila last night.. after our talk?" I ask.

"I did. I called her and we talked.. she understood that I did a mistake for choosing you over her. I should've went to the party with her. So instead, Camila and I will go out tonight,  so don't make me dinner or anything.. I'll probably eat out." He says.

"She understood that you did a mistake for choosing me over her, did you understand that too?" I ask.

"I don't know, B. I don't know." He says. He takes another sip from his coffee and he grabs his phone.

"Shawn What is going on? Why are you acting like this? Was it something I did?" I ask.

He is on his phone, not replying. After a second or 2 he turned his phone off and he looks at me taking another sip. "No." He says. and another sip. He puts his coffee back on the table and he thinks.

"you know what? Yeah it is." He says getting a bit angry. That was quick.

"Why won't you let me get close to you?" He asks. What is that supposed to mean? He looks at me waiting for an answer but I don't know what to say.

"Last night?" I ask. Maybe it was because of last night, I got scared I don't know why.

"Yeah, last night.. last time I came to visit, it's basically every time we see each other" He says. What is that supposed to mean?

"What do you mean?" I ask. I'm confused by this, he never showed any interest in me what so ever.

"Every time I get a little close to you you pull away. Why?" He says that in a softer tone. This whole conversation is making me uncomfortable.

"I don't know why" I say. I never noticed that, every time he is a bit close to me I get nervous and I sabotage everything. When I think about it last night from the second I got into the car with him I started to feel sick, does that have anything to do with it? What is wrong with me? Why am I acting like that? All I want is for him to get close to me. But now he says that I am the one that is pulling away?

Shawn stood up and he got close to me. "Give me your hand" he says. I got chills. He wants my hand?

I give him my hand he pulls me into my room and he closes the door.

"What is going on?" I ask. I feel strange. I don't feel so comfortable now, I want to go out of my room back to the living room. But on the other hand I really want to get close to him, and for once I don't want to sabotaged this.

He walks me to the wall and he is standing really close to me.

I'm speechless.

"Do you have a crush on me?" He asks

"What? No.." I try to deny it. Where is this coming from?

"I think you do..." he says and he gets closer. What is That supposed to mean? He thinks that I do? Am I that obvious? But I thought he said that I'm always pushing him away..? I'm confused,

He is as close as we've never been before. I can smell his perfume.. It smells so good. He touches my face and I can feel my heart beat rising. He puts my hair behind my ear and I know this is the moment he is going to kiss me.

He gets closer and closer and I can feel the warmth of his breath and I can see his eyes sparkling when he looks at me. He is getting more and more close and he leans in...

"What the-" my brother walked in.