Hold up, did Shawn just kiss me. What the hell? Is this a dream? Oh My God!!!!!!!!
My whole body is tingling and I feel the sparks and the chemistry in our kiss. We both look at each other and I want to kiss him again. I know it is wrong and I should back off and let him go and we shall never speak about this again. But my wants are killing me.
"I'm sorry.." Shawn says looking at the ground shyly and looking back at me "I shouldn't have kissed you." He says. I look at him and I don't know what to say. I know this was wrong but it felt so good in an odd and weird way.
We are just looking at each other. We are so close I can't even explain the feelings I'm feeling... I'm feeling the happiness and the guilt all mixing up and I'm not sure what I'm feeling. Anymore.
I thought the moment of our kiss was going to feel different. I never thought I would feel a little guilt and that I won't be 100% happy.
We both look into each other's eyes and I can't even describe that feeling of him looking at me. It's amazing!
"What..?" He says. When I look at him I see the sparks in his eyes. And the tense between us.. it is a bit awkward... I don't know what he is thinking but I guess he's thinking what I'm thinking. That we should kiss again, but it's wrong. So we shouldn't.
"I think we should... just.." I don't know what to say. I'm blushing and I'm nervous and I can barley speak.. this whole situation is very uncomfortable. I want to kiss him so badly. But I shouldn't do that. I know I shouldn't.
Shawn understands the hint I gave him by speaking so unclear and weird.. that he backed off and he want and sat on the bed.
"I'm really sorry." He says. "No. Shawn it's ok." I say and I sit next to him. "No. It's not. I ruined everything.. now you will never look at me the same. I can't believe I did that.."
"Hey hey, Shawn relax. This is not your fault I wanted to kiss you just as much as you wanted to kiss me. It's ok... " I say. He looks at me as I speak and his eyes go wide.. he looks at my lips and I can see him biting his. It's getting really hot in here and I am still a bit confused..
Shawn leans in to kiss me again, but before we kiss I move away so he can't.. I need to think what is going to happen next. What will happen if we kiss again? Will it change something? Will it make things better?! Or maybe even Worse?! "I'm sorry, but I think this is going a bit fast and we need to breathe and think about all this.." I say "we can't just act without thinking." I continue. I really don't know what to do. I'm fighting with myself and it's not very fun. I want to kiss him so badly but I know this will hurt Lucas and it will make things very awkward and uncomfortable.. "yeah you're right.. can you just forget we kissed? We did a mistake Let's never speak about this again." He says. He looks empty. With no fire in his eyes or sparks, which is different than 3 seconds ago.
Shawn walks out of my room and I'm left on the bed. I'm starting to cry. I don't know why. I don't even know what I'm feeling at this point.. but I feel like crying, that I know for sure.
I heard the door slamming. I guess Lucas is back. I wipe my tears and I calm myself down before walking out of the room.
"Hey" Lucas says putting 3 coffees on the counter. "I brought you guys your favorite.." he says. Looking at Shawn and than at me.
"Thanks" I say walking to get my coffee. "I'm sorry I got a bit angry earlier.. I just thought I caught you guys making out. I know you didn't I'm sorry. I over reacted and I'm sorry." He says.
Me and Shawn are looking at each other.. I feel so terrible. I want to tell Lucas everything but I'm so scared of his reaction and of how it will affect the rest of our lives. Will Shawn even be a part of it?
"So I brought you some doughnuts.. as a thank you for forgiving me for being a complete asshole " he says and he puts a huge bag full of doughnuts on the counter next the coffee.. What the hell? "Wow... Lucas you shouldn't have" I say.. now I feel even worse
"Yeah, you really shouldn't have. It's fine" Shawn says. When I look at him I can see the torture in his eyes and the panicking and the scared look on his face. I never saw Shawn's face like that. Never.
YOU ARE READING
My brother's best friend
Romance"Do you have a crush on me?" He asks "No.." I try to deny it. "I think you do..." he says and he gets closer. He is as close as we've never been before. I can smell his perfume. It smells so good. He touches my face and I can feel my heart beat ris...
