playing with fire | taerose 🌹

42.

love
/ləv
noun
1. an intense feeling of deep affection.

L-O-V-E.

It's an interesting concept that you can feel such intense emotions towards an individual.

You get that feeling deep down in your tummy when you look at this person. It's like nothing else in the world matters when you find it.

And when I looked at Taehyung, I felt that for him. But could I admit that to him now?

Could I actually say the word L-O-V-E to him?

Our gazes were stuck on each other's after our words left our lips. It was something that I didn't picture to happen. I didn't know how to prepare for this moment to unleash my true feelings for Taehyung, and I wanted to ignore it as much as possible.

But he questioned me. And his response was only something I've been dreaming about.

I broke our intense gaze, my sight dropping to the floor. His hands still gracefully holding me and his eyes haven't left me yet.

"If I hurt you for what I did with Jungkook, I apologize. It wasn't my intent. I never meant to do it out of spite, I did it out of desperation to feel something other than hurt. I didn't have you in mind when I did it, I had my selfishness only. And I hope you can forgive me for that." I managed to say.

"I get it. I completely do. When I first saw it, it hurt me. It was so apparent what was done, and there was no other person I could have imagined who would do it with him. But...I can forgive you, because your mind wasn't in the right spot. I'm not going to hold that over your head because I'm no better. And I guess...I should explain myself about Jisoo to you." Taehyung began to say, his eyes doing the same as mine.

Taehyung took a deep breath in.

I was anxious to hear his truth and his side, but I knew I wasn't going to be upset. In order to move on, I had to be understanding. I spent enough time upset, and it was time to drop the attitude and listen.  People make mistakes, and I had to be understanding like he was with me.

"The night I met her, she had eyes for me. It was clear as day. I mean, you'd think she wouldn't make it so obvious that she's into me, but it made it easier to get a new target in mind, and that target was her. I was...hurting over the fact that you were done with me, although I didn't prevent you from walking away. But you get now why I did. I needed something to heal me, I was mad. So, I figured out a way to get to someone close to you, that I knew was into me. I didn't care that it was your best friend. We hooked up, it wasn't all that great. I was I just had to get back to my normal roots, we were done, time to go back to my old life, you know? I did it to be vindictive and horrible, and I admit my actions prove how much of a dick I am when I get upset. And I'm ashamed that I did that. I held a lot of regret because you were all I thought about, and I did that and there's no turning back from it." Taehyung spoke honestly, and I nodded my head as I understood.

"I don't enjoy going around and hurting people, although I've done it a lot in the past and maybe that's why I usually show no remorse. If you show remorse, you're sorry. I wasn't sorry for anything before, but now I am sorry. Because you found out, you saw it, I told you and I was rude about it. I thought about myself only, and not you. I clearly upset you. Your intentions have always been real, and maybe I am a liar after all. Because when I first met you, I had no intentions in making us anything. And that was wrong of me, but I allowed myself to fall for you because I couldn't do that to you. If it was anyone else, I wouldn't care. But you? I don't want to hurt you, but look at me now. I hurt you in the worst way possible." Taehyung continued to explain himself to me, and it made complete sense.