playing with fire | taerose 🌹

63.

There it is.

My answer is sitting right in front of me in the metal box. I placed the cup where the doctor instructed me to. And at any given moment, when I shut this door, my answers would be revealed.

With shakey hands, I put the cup where I was told to. I swallowed hard, trying to control my breathing as I looked at my answers sitting in front of me. I have to shut it, I have to shut it. Let's get this over with.

I shut the metal door, and I could hear on the other side the doctor taking it out to exam and start the test.

19 minutes and 59 seconds until something so life changing, so scary, would be revealed. And with just that thought alone that I, Kim Rose, could be having a child at just the age of 16, caused my eyes to flare up with tears.

I don't want this. I tried to tell myself to suck it up and be okay, that it could be nothing in the end. But I've developed so much anxiety over the last months, anxiety that I pushed away since my parents left this earth...it started to come back. Only because my life was falling apart again.

I exhaled, trying to calm myself down, but my anxiety was starting to get to me once more. I was trembling more, tears starting to drip down my cheeks again. I couldn't do this. Everything has been so much for me lately. I just wanted a break.

I opened the bathroom door to see Taehyung who was leaning on the wall on the other side. Concerned already, he grabbed me by my hips and brought me into him.

"Why are you crying, baby? Don't cry. Everything's going to be fine, regardless of the results." Taehyung said sweetly to me, his eyes studying my sadness which caused him to bring me tightly into body.

I wrapped my arms around him, softly crying into his chest for a brief second. "This is just so scary, Taehyung. I'm so nervous to know my answer. I'm scared I'm pregnant. I feel like I am. I feel it everywhere. My boobs, my stomach, even the back of my throat from just throwing up. I just know it's going to come out positive and Namjoon is going to be so mad at me."

"Then let him be mad. Who cares what he has to think at this point." Taehyung shrugged it off like it was nothing. Namjoon doesn't phase him anymore.

"I care if he's mad. I live with him. My relationship with him is already fucked up. He warned me about this. But I didn't listen. I don't listen. And now I'm probably pregnant. I'm going to disappoint him. And when I walk into that room, I know he's going to have more to say to me and I can't handle it anymore. He stresses me out so much, I'm so depressed from all of this. I can't do it anymore." I felt all of my baggage starting to weigh me down. I just felt so heavy with all of these terrible emotions. All of my mistakes, regrets were catching up to me and with Namjoon nagging on me, it didn't make it any better.

"Listen to me, Rose." Taehyung said which caused me to sit up, tilting my head up so I could listen to what he said to say. "Who cares what he has to say at this point. He can say whatever he wants to in front of me. You know why? Because I'm not letting him belittle you when I'm here. He has another thing coming if you think I'm gonna let him talk down to you in front of me. If you're pregnant, then we go in there with our heads held high and we own up to our mistake. We will deal with this together. You're not a disappointment because of our circumstances, you're growing."

I choked back my tears for a second. "But what if its nothing? What if the test comes back negative? He's going to think I did all of this for attention, and that nothing was wrong and he's just going to still yell at me, Taehyung, I can't handle this. What if I'm just being an idiot? Who am I kidding, I am such an idiot."