Revive [Harry Styles]

Chapter Four

I rush over to my gramps to make sure he's okay. He's laying on the the floor looking so white it's scary.

The only thing I can think of is this can not be happening no no no. Please tell me he's okay.

"Gramps gramps its okay please answer me please" I rush the words out because he's I'm panicking.

"Mmm"

"Gramps it's okay I'm here I'm going to pick you up okay one the count of three one.. two.. three"

I lift him up with all my strength and set him on the bed gently. I rush to get him some water and a warm cloth in the kitchen. This is so scary I can't leave him here by himself any more what would of happend if I didn't come back in time. I don't even want to think of that. He can't leave me no he won't leave me.

I blink away my tears before my gramps could see.

"What happend? Here drink this its just water and put this on your head your so cold."

"I'm fine honey I was reaching for my book but then I tipped over and fell" I wanted to believe him but his eyes says other wise he looks like he's hiding something from me but I can't bombard him with questions right now.

"Are you okay you scared the poo out of me gramps"

He chuckles lightly "Yes I'm fine I literally just fell when you came through the door and I don't have much strength over my body so I couldn't get up I'm fine though I promise"

"Then what's that scrap on the side of your head it looks like it's bruising let me see" I tilt his head to the side so I can get a better look and sure enough there's a bruise forming on the side of his face. That's the thing about old people the more older you get the faster bruises become.

"It was probably from when I fell I hit my head pretty hard but enough about me how was school?" he's just changing the subject so quickly it's bothering me. He's hurt and sick and he acts like the strongest human out there. I can't bring this up though it'll only get him mad. So I'm just going to drop it for now.

I tell my gramps about my whole day how I met Harry how my classes went and work. Of course I skipped the part about the phone call and when that disgusting piece of shit man held my arm a little to tight. He listen and was giving me advice about the whole Harry thing. He seemed extra interested in that topic most of all. He even wants to meet him which makes absolutely no sense. I guess it's because I don't talk about people that much so he's excited I brought up someone.

I tucked my gramps in a few minutes after and now I'm on my bed doing homework or trying to do homework. My mind seems somewhere else. It keeps going back to the man in the cafe. I never knew his name every time I'd ask him in the past he'd always change it so I referred him as creep.

I just need to forget about it. He's just trying to scare me and I will not be that same scared girl I was back then. I just can't help it wonder if I'm even strong enough not to be scared. I mean I have to be strong, but what about me what if I'm tired of being strong I'm tired of having to protect myself I'm tired of being treated like shit. Can't I have a break can't someone protect me keep me safe hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright. Of course not. My parents didn't do it so why would anyone else do it why would anyone else take care of a worthless piece of shit like me. They left everyone leaves no more cares I hate this fucken life I want to die I hate it.

I can't control my breathing I'm just so mad. Mad at my parents mad at the men who took advantage of me mad at the world because no one notice a broken girl but most of all I'm mad at myself. I hate myself it's my fault. Everything is my fault.

I rush to the bathroom and find my razor blade. I hold the sharp small blade in my hand and start cutting. I cut for every time I felt alone I cut for every time some one hurt me I cut for crying right now I cut for being weak I cut and I cut until I can't control myself and break down in tears. I whimper and hold myself since no one else will hold me. I rock back and forth praying that everything is going to be okay. Maybe just maybe it will. I could feel myself loosing to much blood and I debate whether to just let myself die or get up and clean myself. I get up and start cleaning myself I put hot water over the cuts to feel more pain. At least the pain in what I can control. I put big bandaged over my cuts so they can stop bleeding and clean the blood that spilled on the floor I take one finally look in the mirror and notice I'm more pale then I was before my lips almost have no color and I have bags under my eyes.

I finish my homework and throw my bag on the floor. As I lay down I stare at nothing my mind is wide awake and it's not going to let me sleep tonight.

I get up from my ten minute sleep and make my way to the bathroom to shower and get ready. As I'm showering I just suddenly break down in tears why does my life need to be so fuck up why can't I just have a simple life where people have parents who love them and their biggest worry is when they break their mothers favorite vase.

I finish up with my shower and decide to wear a long sleeve dark blue flowly shirt tucked in a black skirt with black high socks that go above my knees. I leave my hair down seeing as its already becoming to messy for me to tame. I feel like completely shit but I need to go to school.

My gramps is still sleeping so I leave his french toast I made him on the side if his bed with a note that says I love him and I'll be home as soon as possible. I kiss his cheek and head to school.

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Before I know it I'm in class and waiting patiently for it to start. So I'm just drawing on my notebook whatever comes to mind I already drew a rose and a bird.

"You draw amazing" I snap my head up because that voice is so close to my ear and to familiar.

"Oh no I was just doodling it's nothing" my cheeks are as close to a tomato right now I'm sure of it so I look down hoping he didn't notice.

"No you really do draw good and if this is doodling I wonder how you draw for real then"

"Mr.Sryles do you mind taking your seat now." Ms.Mish interrupts our conversation and Harry sits down with no problem. Seeming as his seat is right next to mine.

"Okay class I want you to start talking to each other again and working on the project but I want to see Jesse, Harry, Luke, and Danielle at my table." I look at Harry and give him a question look and he just shrugs his shoulders.

"So I heard their are problems with these partners right here and I'm going to be generous and switch up the partners but only because I don't want any problems. I don't want people thinking I'm playing favorites so Jess your with Harry and Luke your with Danielle. Now go and I don't want to hear another peep out of any of you."

Luke gives a look of please help me while Danielle has a huge smile on her face Harry looks pretty pleased himself and I'm just their wanting the day to end already.

Harry and I make our way back to our seats since we're right next to each other we don't have to move.

"Thank god she listened to me" wait what did he just say I thought Danielle is the one who complained.

"Huh?"

"Ohh I spoke to her yesterday after school because that Danielle chick is so fucken annoying all she talks about is Luke and I couldn't seem to keep my eyes off of yo- of of the wall since she was so boring you know?" he awkwardly coughs at the end but I can't help but giggle.

"Okay I guess we're partners for two things now."

"Yeah I guess we are and I'll make you as comfortable as possible you know if you don't want to talk about something we don't have to but umm why did I say that I probably just screwed this whole thing up I'm sorry just forget about it I-"

"It's okay I feel okay around you in a way okay" I give him a reassuring smile. I don't know it's different around him bad thing bad thing my body is telling me but for now I'm just going to let it be.

"Okay thanks and umm hey Jess what's that on your arm?" I look down at my wrist and haven't notice that my sleeve had risen a little. I quickly pull it down and look away. I pulled off the bandages in the morning to take a shower and didn't put new ones on. How could I be so stupid and just let that slip I wasn't even thinking. He's waiting for an answer that I can't give him.