Revive [Harry Styles]

Chapter Twenty-Nine

My heads pounding from a migraine. It feels like I've been hit by a train. My whole body feels sore like I ran a marathon. And my mind is just a mess. I slowly open my eyes to see I am in fact in my bed but i don't remember how I got here. The last thing I remember is having a panic attack running from Harry. Did he bring me home?

I get up from bed and see I'm still in yesterday's clothes and I'm thankful for it. Every step I take is like knifes digging in my sides. I step into my bathroom and turn the hot water on to take a shower. Hoping this will loosen up my bones. I take my clothes off and push my hair back. My face does feel kinda hot. I step in the water cautiously. Letting the water take over my stressed body. I stand under the water for a while till I start actually putting shampoo and conditioner...

My vision becomes blured and everything is blacking out I rest my head on the wall of the shower. Deep breaths Jess. Just breathe. I turn the water off and step out. After I dry my body I dress in a pair of dark blue skinny jeans with a blue and red flannel. I gather all my dirty clothes and throw them in the hamper. I slip on socks and head down stairs.

I hear soft snores through out the house. I think it's coming from the living room. I step in the living room and see one boy sleeping on the couch, another one spread across the floor, and one sitting up with a mug in his hands taking pictures of the other ones. I clear my throat and the curly headed boy with the mug snaps his head up towards me.

"Jess I thought you were still sleeping" Harry whispers walking towards me.

"No I got up a while ago can we talk in the kitchen" I turn towards the kitchen feeling more then embarrassed. We walk through the door and I start heating up water for some tea. "Um why are Louis and Zayn sleeping.." My voice trails off.

"Oh yeah they uh kept blowing up my phone asking if you were okay and that they couldn't sleep next thing I know they show up one by one at the door waiting for you to wake up. You had them pretty worried including me." He scratches neck glancing at me. It's almost as if he's scared to look at me.

"Oh" I nod my head turn towards the mug. I pour the hot water in the mug and dip the tea bag.

"So what happened yesterday?" I ask reaching for the honey but it's to high. I'm about to jump on the counter when Harry reaches it for me.

"Here munchkin" I take the honey from his hands and pour some in my tea. "Well when I was cashing you I guess you were having a flash back. You kept pushing me away. I was so scared Jess. I thought I lost you for good. I felt so hopeless" he shakes his head and rubs his eyes.

"I'm sorry" I tell him. I look into his eyes that are still bloodshot probably from crying. He reaches for my hand and I flinch away. Harry looks shocked at first but then it's replaced with anger and hurt.

"So what now Jesse we're back at square one where you flinch at my touches? God I'm trying so hard" he pulls his hairs.

"No I'm sorry it's just I- I, I'm sorry" I reach for his hand and he gives it to me but with a attitude. "I'm sorry okay I just this is hard for me"

"Then tell me why it's hard so I can help you. Let me help you." I shake my head. I can't tell him or else he'll really leave forever. "Why why can't you tell me it's like we take 2 baby steps forward but then take 3 big steps back. You don't understand what you're doing to me" he's about to let go of my hand but I hold him tighter.

"I'm sorry I just I trying" I pull him towards me till our foreheads are touching. He's looking down at me. "It's complicated. I want you here so bad but then I have it suck in my mind that you're going to leave"

"Jesse how many times do I need to tell you I'm staying even when things get rough I'll stay. I'm here to hold you when you cry I'll whisper smoothing words I'm your ear and I'll support you. But you have to tell me" Harry lifts my chin up so we're looking straight into each other eyes.