Revive [Harry Styles]

Chapter Thirty

"Someone doesn't look so good today" Liam points out while he follows me into school. "Why didn't you stay home again you're sick" he points out the obvious.

"Because I can't miss anymore days and besides I'm fine" No I don't feel fine. My body feels sore for some odd reason. My eyes are watery and my nose is dripping from burgers. "I'm gonna go to class I'll see you later"

"Okay if you don't feel good just tell one of us and we'll take you home" I nod my head and walk towards 6th period.

My walk there is fast. I ignore everyone's looks. Walking with my head glued on the ground. Once I reach his room. I open the door. I walk straight to his desk.

"Jesse just the person I wanted to se- oh you look sick" he coughs a little. "Are you feeling okay"

"Yes sir I feel fine" my eyelids feel heavy and I struggle to keep them open.

"Okay well if you insist. Now down to business. The paper you wrote was fantastic. It held so much pain. But I want to get this play right which means it's probably going to be hard to pull off all of this. And not to mention the school board said no. They want something more 'Christmas-ie'. I tried really hard to convince them but they still said no. They decided we should do something like The Christmas Carol. You know the one with scrooge?"

And just like that my heart feels shattered. I was looking forward for this. I knew my writing was awful. I knew the story was stupid. How could I be so dumb. I thought I was good at something. But of course I'm wrong. I'm so use to being shot down.

"Yea I know" I look down at my hands finding them more interesting.

"Okay but that's not all. I do have some good news. Do you want to hear it?" I nod my head. "Well I love your paper so much. I really do. If it was up to me I'd make it a play write now. The good news is I want to make it a short story. I know a publisher that will be more then will to publish it. You see I'm co-writing a play that is coming out in June and I was think we could hand out your story maybe even sell some. So many people thousands will read your book." He has a smile the size of Jupiter on his face.

"I-I don't know its kind of a big deal and I don't want to screw anything up. I'm not a very good writer and for so many people to read it I don't know sir" I shake my head feeling to shocked.

I can't do this. It's to big. What if I mess up? It's to big to do.. I can't I know I can't..

"Why do you do that? Why do you put yourself down? I'm sitting in front of you telling you, your writing is amazing. People are going to love it" I look down again unable to look at him. "Jesse I know you can do it. Remember the first day of school when I told everyone that I've been watching and selected you guys to be in this class"

"Yes I remember it was creepy" I tell him truthfully.

He chuckles a little. "It probably was. But I knew I had to have you in this class. I would read your papers and your writing progressed so much. I felt everything you wrote, I know you can write. It's in your blood" he takes a deep breath.

"Its just hard to believe in myself when I feel like I can't do anything right.." I don't know why I'm telling him this but I feel like it's necessary.

"Well let me be the first to tell you that your writing is right it's more then right it's perfect" I blush at his comment smiling. "And I'm here if you need any help, you could work on it in class or whenever you want but trust me your words need to be written"

He's right, right? I mean he is a teacher and he's telling me that my writing is good. That I am suppose to write. I desperately want to believe it but something deep down tells me I can't. I wish I could shut off the voice forever. Because they voice is the one I always push down but it always finds its way back to my head. Louder and louder.