Revive [Harry Styles]

Chapter Seven

We finished eating a little while ago. Harry and I put gramps to bed because he said he's tired. He's always tired now. I'm not complaining I know he's older and sick but I miss those days where we'll just stay up all night watching movies. I feel like he's the only one I can trust. All I can do is hope he gets better.

Harry and I are working on our project but it's so hard how am I suppose to continue Harrys story. This is so stupid why did he even have to make a project like this it doesn't even make sense it's so dang confu-

"Jeeeessssseeee hello earth to Jesse" Harry snaps me out of my thoughts.

"Uh yeah sorry I was thinking."

"I kinda wanted to talk about something"

"Okay what is it?" I ask him tilting my head a little in confusion.

"Well I thought maybe you could finally tell me why those marks on your arms are there" I could feel a lump forming in my throat.

"I told you to just drop it. Now we should be working not talking about me okay? Okay"

"No okay Jesse I want you to be able to talk to me and this quite means a lot to me so please just tell me. I'm not going to drop it unless you tell me."

"You really want me to tell you?"he shakes his head rapidly almost like he's surprised he got me to give in so quickly. "I'm just not happy I'm stressed about school and gramps I swear it only happend one time" he doesn't say anything just a blank face. Like he's thinking. No smile. No smirk. Just his eye brows creased together in a serious face thinking. Then he slowly nods his head and looks down. If it was that easy I would of lied to him at school.

Does he really think I trust him I can't even trust my own parents. Blood. What makes him think I'll give him any type of information about me. Whatever I need to finish this stupid paper. Think like Harry talk about my self in a not so mean way.

Under Harrys writing I write

Jess sure is something else. She isn't like other girls. She's not very out spoken either or what I've seen. She seems like she likes to be ALONE. But maybe being alone consumes you to the darkness. She doesn't seem dark. Just her story seems dark. Maybe I don't want to know it. Maybe she needs a break from the world. We all need a break once in a while. Maybe I could be her break. Jesse Jackson is different a different where curiosity killed the cat. Just that I'm not the cat because I'll figure it out. But when I do I'm scared. What if I'm not ready to know. Surely it isn't that bad. But then again this world is full if different surprises. Jesse is beyond...

I stop writing and read it over. Do I want him to be my break? I don't I can't he's just someone who's my partner in 2 classes because of stupid teachers and these projects. Plus it's my last year then gramps and me will go far away from this hell hole.

"Hey Jess can we just talk for a bit?" I just nod my head waiting for him to talk again. His voice sometimes kinda calms me. It's his touch that scares me.

"Well just umm let's please 21 questions?" I give him a questioned look. "Its just a game where we ask each other questions I ask one then you ask one and so on" he smiles before looking down.

"Okay you go first" I tell him feeling anxious.

"What's your favorite color?"

"Green yours?"

"Black whens your birthday?"

"September 16 whens yours?"

"February 1st and your birthday is in a couple of weeks what are you going to do?"

"Umm I don't know maybe just get a cake with gramps.. My birthdays aren't really that special in fact I hate my birthday" He's frowning a little. With pitty in his eyes. That's what I hate pitty.

"Oh well maybe I can change that this year" he looks at me with a bit of hope.

"Yeah maybe so do you have any brothers or sisters?" I ask hoping we can change the subject.

"Yeah I have and older sister what about you?"

"Uh not that I know of"

"Why do you act so scared and just tense around me?" He ask me and I can't help but become a little flustered.

"I- I don't know I um uh just not use to t- talking to people but my gramps"

"Oh well we're going to working together and I promise I don't bit so loosen up" I find my self smiling a little. When I look up from my lap Harry is doing this weird dance. And I can't help it but start giggling. Then I'm in a big fit of laughter. Harry laughs a little before just staring at me laugh.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I try covering my tomato red face.

"Its just your laugh and smile it's so beautiful you should do it more often" he says with a big smile on his face and a wink at the end.

"Yeah well you shouldn't wink like that it looks like you have something stuck in your eye" I start giggling again.

"Hey I give you a compliment and you tell me that" he pout his lips before laughing him self.

"Maybe you should be heading home it's getting late and I don't want your mom to be worried" I'm barely able to say mom without my heart hurting. I feel like I'm going to be sick.

"Yeah I should get going I'll text you though" he gets up and I follow him to the door before he turns around "can I umm at least get a awkward hug" he ask but I don't think I can. I just shake my head no and look down. He sighs but mumbles a bye and leaves without saying another word.

I lock up all the doors. Wash all the dishes and put them away. I decide I should take a shower right now. I go to my room to get clean undies my sports bra and my pj's.

I love taking showers but then I also hate it all at the same time.. When I shower I feel clean renewed. But then it's also a place where my thoughts, fears, and life decisions get louder and louder. Harrys different but I don't want to get close to him because he's going to leave me eventually. Whether it's tomorrow or a month from now. He's going to leave I know.. everyone leaves. I guess if I did have powers it's making people hurt me and leave. My gramps is the only one who would never leave or hurt me. I have this life. What did I do to deserve this? I feel like theirs nothing left of me anymore. I'm not even sure how I got out alive.

I turn off the water and wrap my self in a towel before getting out. I avoid looking myself in the mirror because I know I look ugly. I change quickly brush my teeth and then head to my bed room. Once I lay down I realize it's going to be one of those nights where my mind won't let me sleep. So I stay up and stare at the vast of nothing. I fall into sadness so sweet that it engulfs me.