Revive [Harry Styles]

Chapter Twenty-Two

I can't seem to wrap my head around every bit of information he gave me. Although I'm so happy for Harry his sister is going to get better. I just I'm envious of him. He has a family, gramps is helping him get his family together again. But I don't have a family. Gramps is gone. If I could have anything I would want gramps back. I'm just being negative but I still can't stop thinking.

So here I am siting on my bed looking at the envelope unsure if I should open it. We got back 10 minutes ago and Harry left to go get food. Its still kinda early about 3 pm. 

Oh what the heck? I reach for the envelope and open it. I first pull out a letter. My eyes begin to water all over again. This will be the last letter I'll ever get to read from gramps. This is literally the end. Slowly I unfold the paper and his writing is making me more nervous.

Dear Jess,

I know you're probably upset with me that I hid some things from you. And I know you think that I gave up my life to take care of you but you couldn't be more wrong then right now. Jess you gave me life you made me more happy then I could ever be. I stopped working because I wanted to make sure you were as comfortable as possible. I knew after everything that's happend you didn't want to be overwhelmed with all the people or me being away for work. I wanted to make sure that I was there for you as you needed me to. And I hope I did a good job.

I'm sure you have tons of questions for me. But I only left you with one answer and that's that I love you. I saw you as my daughter I took care if you as my daughter. I know I wrote this ahead of time but I can assure you that I miss you more every day. But I'm still here watching over you.

Now as of everything else I left you everything not to overwhelm you but to make sure your secured. Whether it's paying for your college or even buying some new shoes. I want you to be able to do what you love to do so don't feel pressured to keep the company. Now Mr.Santos he's a good  friend of mine I trust him. He's a nice guy and can take care of the business if you decided not to.

I love you my dear Jesse. I wish I didn't have to write this to you I wish I could be siting in front of you. I miss you Jesse. I left you some other things to.

-love gramps.

I put the letter down and wipe my eyes. This isn't what I thought the letter would say. I flip the paper wanted, searching for more writing. This can't be all of it. A familiar ache returns to my chest. And I can't help up feel a hole in my heart.

"Jesse you in there?" Harrys soft voice comes through from the other side of the door.

"Yeah I'm in here" my throat is clogged by a lump that I push down. That's all I've been good at is pushing down my pain.

Harry walks in holding a pizza and I lightly smile. He sends me one back and looks at the letter.

"Is everything okay?" He scrunchs his eye brows together.

"Yeah let's eat" I put everything away and we walk down stairs to eat and watch a movie.

Half way through Saving Private Ryan and the pizza long gone Harrys phone starts blowing up.

"You should really answer that" I gesture to his phone. "It might be important" he sighs and answers the phone.

"Hey Lou-" I could kinda hear the other voice but I can't understand what they're saying. "No I can't go I wa-.... No I'm busy.. I don't know..." he looks over at me and I pretend I wasn't listening. "Yeah yeah yeah I gotta go bye.. I don't care bye" Harry hangs up the phone. I could tell somethings bothering him.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah" Harry doesn't make eye contact with me so I pause the movie and I give him a stern look.  "Nothings wrong"

"And you're a shit liar come on Harry what's up?" He chuckles a little and I smile back at him. This is how friends are right? I don't know this is all still new to me.

"Well I promised my friend I would go to a party but I don't want to leave you so I told him no"

"Just go I'll be fine here and we'll hang out tomorrow" he smiles at me but doesn't seem convinced but then his face lightens up and he turns to look at me with a smirk that looks evil. "Why are you looking at me like that?" I question shifting uncomfortable in my seat.

"Why don't you go? We could have so much fun together we could forget about the world for a little"

"No thank you I've never been to a party" He's crazy no way in hell am I going to a party.

"Please Jesse it'll be fun and I'll stay with you all the time please for me" he sticks his bottom lip out doing a pouty face and laugh wow. "Please Jesse"

"Fine but can we only stay for a little" What am I thinking.

"Yes thank you thank you" he grabs me in his arms and hugs me tight I groan and push him away.

"What are you suppose to wear to umm parties?" I feel so embarrassed asking that that. But I don't want to look stupid.

"It doesn't matter you'll look beautiful either way" my blush and walk away from him not saying anything else. How am I suppose to answer that?

What to wear? What to wear? I look through my clothes again and settle on a black leather skirt with a red hoodie crop top. I put on sheer black tights under that are slightly ripped. Note to self get new ones. I put my black boots on and call it good. I do my hair in loose curls. I look stupid. Maybe I should just stay home. Why did I even agree?

Part of me agreed because I want to just forget about my life for a bit I want to just live and not worry about my sorrow that's eating me alive and another part of me agreed because of Harry. He's done so much for me and I want to be there for him. I don't know this is a stupid idea. I'll just tell Harry I can't go.

A cough snaps me from my thoughts and I turn around to find Harry standing in my room. He's looking at me up and down and smiles while his eyes are wide. He's wearing his usually black skinny jeans and a white shirt and a blue flannel. His hair is pushed up and it looks good. His wearing his famous brown boots. I smile a little then realize I've been staring.

"You should knock"

"Yeah sorry you you look beautiful" I blush again and turn my heard around.

"You don't mean that" I shake my head and fold some of my clothes.

"But I do" I don't bring myself to belive him. "We should start going it's already 9" It's that late already. What ever this is a one time thing and if I need to forget for a while then I will.

"Let's go" 

Harry and I walk to his motorcycle and I'm glad I'm wearing the sheer tights. Then we're off.

The closer we go the more I feel anxious. This was a bad idea. We should just go home.

"Jess you think you could loosen up I can't breathe"

"Oh gosh I'm so sorry"

"I like you holding me but this is to tight" I blush for the 3rd time today and loosen up.

Harry parks a little down the street and I feel more nervous then ever. My head is going crazy and my eyes scan everything.

Loud music is paying and some people are scattered outside either drinking, talking, or making out. This was a bad idea for the hundredth time.

Harry grabs my hand and smiles at me. "Stay close to me at all times" I nod my head in approval. He's the only person I know here and the only one I trust.